Valerie's Weddings

You can have any number of attendants that you wish. Sometimes it simplifies things (and keeps the cost down) to just have the best friends of the bride and groom stand up for you. This also eliminates the hassle of siblings or friends that you may feel obligated too, but may not really want in your wedding. There is no set number of attendants nor do they need to be the same number on each side. Select the people that you really want to stand up with you and that will make you comfortable and happy on your special day.

Always remember, you don't "have" to do anything! Weddings are very personal times and the friends and family you ask to be part of it should always be the most special people in your life. It really doesn't matter how many attendants you have on each side, just keep in mind how the placement will look and if your attendants are not of the same number you may want to vary the traditional formation at the alter. You can also add functions for friends if there are people you want to be part of the wedding but you would prefer to keep the attendants balanced. You can have any number of ushers for male friends and for female friends you can have a guest book attendant, gift table attendant, greeters at the reception or additional flower girls. Your attendants will feel special no matter what you have selected them to do, they just want to be a part of your special day.

The most important thing to remember in planning your wedding is that it is "YOUR" wedding! Everything from the day to the guest list and your vows should be just as you want them to be. While it is "traditional" for all of your attendants to be in the same attire it is most definitely not essential. Many weddings are now done in themes or even a variety of colors based on seasons or favorite shades of the bride. A lot of brides allow their attendants to select the style of dress as long as the color is the same. Women have such varying body types and shapes that all of your girls are not going to look and feel good in the same dress. Lots of bridal magazines and shops now carry two piece brides maid gowns with alternating tops and bottoms...you can go on a shopping trip with your party and have everyone try the style that feels good to them. When picking out your dresses keep in mind how you want everyone to look standing up at the alter. What vision do you have that your guests are going to see? It is also a nice touch to have the Maid of Honor in a different style or color than the other girls.

The standard rule of thumb on number of guests who will not attend is about 10 percent. There are many variables which effect this number...The size of your wedding, the location of your wedding and the number of guests you have invited from out of town. It is not unusual for some of your guests who have responded that they will come not to show up and vise versa... If you are spending a lot of money on the food for your reception it is always a good idea to make phone calls to your guests to confirm that they will be attending. Most caterers and locations will require a guaranteed number from you about a week before the event and you will not be able to lower that number if people decide not to come.

The best advice I can offer you regarding keeping things on schedule for your wedding day is DON’T STRESS! There are so many variables and so many people involved that your timing is bound to be off a few minutes either way. The biggest problem I have run across with timing is the photographers. There is usually a set amount of time set aside for pictures and this almost always runs over. If timing is very important to you be sure you make this clear to all of your vendors so they can assist you. It is also a good idea to assign a family member or friend to assist in this area. All of the people who work with weddings on a regular basis are very used to timing being off by a bit, so there is no need to worry excessively if you are running a few minutes behind. Try to relax and enjoy your day.

No matter where you live an outdoor venue for your ceremony or reception is taking a risk. You can not predict what may happen with the weather or other outside elements. If you have your heart set on an outdoor venue, my advice would be to secure a backup plan at the same location. This may cost you additional money, but is well worth not having your special day ruined. If the facility you select does not have an indoor alternative in case of bad weather, consider having a tent rental as backup.

The two most important things to consider when selecting your site are budget and the kind of ambience and environment you envision for your big day. The internet is an excellent source of wedding venues, so spend some time looking around on sites to see what you like. Before you begin making any of your selections have your budget in mind. Keep in mind you may be able to save a few dollars if you select a Friday or Sunday as opposed to a Saturday night. Lunch time receptions can also save you. Have a picture in your mind of what you want the place to look like and check out several locations. It is also important that you like and are comfortable with the facility manager or coordinator. You will be depending on this person for a lot, so make sure you trust them and feel they will do a good job for you.

Hello and thank you for visiting my website. I would suggest you have 200 programs printed. You will probably have some no show factor and many of your guests will be couples. It is appropriate to place your programs at every other setting and with 200 this will still leave you with several extras that can be available for singles or additional guests. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately unless you have a signed contract and have already given a deposit, you have very little recourse. This actually happens quite frequently in our industry. The facility may have gotten a higher dollar piece of business and decided to take it, or they may have just made an error and booked over your date as it was still tentative because there was not deposit. My advice is to make a big fuss! You probably can not get the date you wanted now because they have booked over you, but if this is really the site of your dreams consider changing your date and making them make it up to you. They know that they made a mistake. If you have copies and can prove you printed your announcements they should pay to have them redone with a new date. Since they have inconvenienced you so greatly they should also be willing to give you a discount if you can select a new date. I would try for a minimum of 10%. This is definitely a case of “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. Ask to speak with upper management if necessary and let them know how unhappy you are. They do not want bad word of mouth and they also still want your business. Good luck to you, I hope you get your dream location and that they compensate you for your trouble.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my website. I have had clients who had dogs in their weddings before at a couple of different hotels, so I am not sure why you are finding resistance. It is probably not possible for you to have animals at the reception site near food due to health reasons, but involved in the ceremony should not be a big deal. Be sure to let the facility manager know that you just want your dog to be part of the ceremony and then he/she will be taken home or put in a carrier for the reception portion of your day.

It depends on what kind of church you wish to get married in. I know the Catholic church will not accept you if you are not a member and have not been through communion and confirmation. You could possibly still marry in say a Lutheran or Presbyterian church, but they will most likely want you to take pre-marital classes with their church and probably want you to join as well.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Having a sign on an easel during your ceremony would be fine. The only suggestion I would make is that it would be nice for your guests to know prior so they can wear comfortable shoes and know they will be standing for a bit. If you have not yet had your invitations printed I would suggest adding a line stating you are having a stand up ceremony. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. There is no reason at all that you may not have two ceremony's. Many couples do this when they grew up in different parts of the country or perhaps have family overseas or far away. Some couples also marry before they can save enough for the large ceremony and reception and remarry up to several years later when they can afford the wedding they desire. Good luck to you and congratulations!

Hello Shelly and thank you for visiting my site. It is absolutely fine to have your son and father walk you down the aisle. I have seen this many times at various weddings. I would suggest looking on the web for the specific dress you want. E-bay is great and also offers good prices. If you are unable to find anything you like, perhaps you could consider having a dress made to your specifications. If you purchase the fabric your dry cleaner can probably reccomend a seamstress for you. Take care and good luck!

Hi Stephanie, and thank you for visiting my site. You can do your double ceremony either way...the four of you should consult with your officiant, let he or she know what you would like and have them assist you. I have actually only seen one double ceremony and it went from groom to groom, then bride to bride.

Hi Amanda, and thank you for visiting my site. Wow...I have never heard this one before! You are talking about the "traditional" wedding march??? I don't understand why your pastor has a problem with this. I have been to hundreds of services at many different denominations where the wedding march has been played. The only answer I have is that it sounds like a personal issue for him. I will definitely do some research and if I find a better answer I will let you know.

Hi Jeannie and thank you for visiting my site. I actually did not know the answer to this question, but in researching it I can find nothing to indicate it is against the law.

Hi Christina and thank you for visiting my site. In my experience the Catholic Church is not very flexible in it's traditions. I would be very surprised if you could find a Catholic priest to accomodate you. Christian churches tend to be much more open to new traditions. I wish you the best of luck but I don't really have any suggestions on this one.

Hi Angie and thank you for visiting my site. Traditions like the bride and groom's sides are changed all the time now days. I don't see this as being a problem at all. The most important thing is that it looks pretty and that the bride and groom are getting what they want.

Hi Cindi and thank you for visiting my site. Are you looking for attire ideas for your attendants? If so with an informal beach wedding your could dress the groomsmen in white or ivory slacks with casual button down shirts and the girls in simple sun dresses. This would be pretty and cost effective. There are so few restrictions on attire, you can really do whatever you think would look nice. If you want to be sure and keep it informal I would suggest indicating this on your invitations as well. You can put something like "This is an informal occassion" at the bottom of the invites. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Caroline and congratulations! Well you do have a predicament as far as location...you are correct that traditionally the wedding and reception are held in the Brides hometown. Sometimes couples will have two receptions to accomodate family across the country. It really depends on what is most important to you as a couple. If having your family and friends present is very important to you than you may want to consider having two receptions. If you would be happy with just those closest to you being in attendance then a destination wedding would be great. I am a huge advocat of destination weddings for many reasons. You will save a ton of money on all aspects and have a wonderful time usually with a built in honeymoon depending on where you choose to hold your ceremony. Anyone you do invite to attend will be delighted to have a vacation as well. I wish I could give you more alternative suggestions, but this is really a personal decision based on what you want for your special day. Whatever you decide good luck and enjoy!

Hi Jae and thank you for visiting my site. Weddings are one time when you can get away from being seasonal when selecting colors. You really have the freedom to go with whatever you like. Fall is actually a good time for a lot of the softer colors used in "Precious Moments" I think ivory, peach and a soft gold would look great! Congratulations and good luck.

Hi Fredericka and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the ring bearer comes down the aisle first, followed by the flower girl.

Hi Barb and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally you are correct...no one stands until the bride is in place to walk down the aisle. Perhaps there was confusion at the wedding you recently attended. I have seen several times where someone will stand early and others simply follow because they don't know what to do.

Hi Courtney and thank you for visiting my site. You can not be legally married by anyone who does not possess a license to marry people. Perhaps you could have an officiant marry you in a very brief ceremony and then have your uncle speak and do the ceremony you want directly after? Another option would be to have a civil ceremony prior to your wedding and then you would already be legally married and could have any kind of ceremony you want with your uncle presiding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. Friday weddings can be good for many reasons, the best being you can usually get a better deal with sites and vendors. You might also consider a Sunday on a holiday weekend and most people have Mondays off after Labor Day or Fourth of July for example. As far as the Catholic ceremony, many Catholic churches do not marry people later than 2:30 pm. I do not recommend leaving a long period of time between your ceremony and reception. When people do this they tend to either lose guests after the ceremony or have people skip the ceremony all together and just show up to the reception.

Hi Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the family of the bride is seated first.

Hi Jaime and thank you for visiting my site. It is perfectly acceptable to send out wedding announcements to let all friends and family know about the exciting news. These are not invitations, just simple note cards that a couple is planning to get married. You can find examples any where that carries wedding invitations. Many people can not invite all friends and family due to budget restraints and this is a good way to share the good news with all.

Hi Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. Music selection for the pre-processional is entirely up to the bride and groom. Generally there is not specific music played for the parents and grand parents, but it is a very sweet idea and could easily be incorporated in to your ceremony.

Hi Annette and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the brides family members are escorted down the aisle first and seated, then the grooms immediate family. Parents first with Mothers and current husbands leading then Fathers with second wives. Grandparents follow parents. While this is the traditional manner of seating family many weddings change the pattern around. It is fine to have both a Maid of honor and a Matron of honor. I would suggest the eldest of the two walking just before you or you could also have them walk down together. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jessica and thank you for visiting my site. I personally think that brides should wear whatever they feel comfortable and beautiful in for their wedding regardless of color. With families being so diverse these days, many weddings veer from "traditional" wedding structure. It is absolutely appropriate to have your brother-in-law and his sister stand up for you in the wedding party and participate in the first dances.

Hi Yamile and thank you for visiting my site. The bride and bridesmaids are generally on the left side. Most people no longer have guests seated on one side or the other, but if you want to carry on this old tradition there is nothing wrong with it.

Hi Kelly and thank you for visiting my site. You need to contact an audio visual company to rent an appropriate sound system. The venue where you are getting married may have some suggestions or your DJ may be able to provide an additional system for you.

Hi Lynn and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest doing an invitation stating something like "Join us in the celebration of our marriage of 2/15/05 for cake and punch on such and such a date". Congratulations and best wishes for much happiness together.

Hi Mari and thank you for visiting my site. If guests choose to stay at a location selected by the bride and groom it is generally their own responsibility to pay for their accommodations. If the bride is insisting her bridesmaids stay that is a little different and you should feel fine telling her that you simply can not afford it and leave it to her to decide if she wants to pay for a room for you. If you don't want to drive the distance to the location after the wedding, perhaps you could find a more reasonably priced hotel/motel in the same area and stay there? I hope it all works out for you.

Hi Alison and thank you for visiting my site. Your ivory dress will not appear dirty if the groomsman are in white. I am always a big fan of ivory flowers and linens, white makes everything look very stark and too bright whereas ivory tends to soften everything. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. The tradition of clinking glasses for the bride and groom to kiss generally comes from your guests. Once it gets started it is difficult to get them to stop. I think if you make it known to your friends and family that you are annoyed by this you could stop it from happening. The only thing I can think of to insure it doesn't happen is to have you DJ make an announcement to your guests to please not clink the glasses. Good Luck!

Hello Jeannie and thank you for visiting my site. It is fine for your daughter to have her father and step father walk her down the aisle. This is actually pretty common. Each father can take one arm and then take their appropriate seats at the front of the ceremony site.

Hi Vicki and thank you for visiting my site. Your daughter sounds like a lovely woman and if she wants this dear friend in her wedding I think that is great. While weddings are still steeped in tradition there are many modifications and personalizations in most weddings to suit the individual bride and groom. It sounds like the options are somewhat limited due to the circumstances of your daughters friend, but having her sit up front in her chair seems like it would work. There is no question or proper or not proper in this situation, it's just a matter of what is important to your daughter on her very special day. I always advise my clients to plan their weddings as close to the way they have always dreamed about them as possible and have the people who love them around them. Congratulations and good luck to you!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. There really are no set guidelines as to when a couple who has had a civil ceremony can follow it with a big wedding and reception. I have had clients who waited 15 or 20 years to have the big wedding of their dreams. It is however very inconsiderate not to pay you back your money if you were told they would pay it back. Perhaps you could get your daughter in law to at least start paying in installments over time?

Hi Jill and thank you for visiting my site. The processional is done a variety of different ways. It really depends on the look you want and the size of the bridal party. If you have a very large bridal party it makes more sense to have the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle in pairs, if not then it is generally the groomsmen are already at the alter with the groom and the bridesmaids walk down the aisle individually. I hope this helps!

Hi Nicole and thank you for visiting my site. I am not sure I understand your question, but I can tell you that once you are married there is no need to renew your vows unless you wish to do so.

Hello Amy and thank you for visiting my site. I am sorry to hear that your husbands feelings are hurt over his daughters choice. Honestly I do think the bride should have things the way she wants them but I do understand this can be painful for others. Is there any way you could all have a family discussion and perhaps have both parents walk the bride down the aisle? Weddings are truly a time for estranged family members to set their differences aside and be there for the bride and groom. Good luck to you!

Hi Katherine and thank you for visiting my site. Sure it's okay to have two maids/matrons of honor. I always tell my brides to have their weddings just the way the want them. With all the diversity in families these days bridal parties have changed a lot. Old traditions just simply don't apply in a lot of cases. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Diana and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the "maid of honor" walks down the aisle just before the bride. Any other order of things is basically up to you. Don't worry about formalities, just set it up as it feels most comfortable and natural for you.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Actually it is very popular now for the wedding couple to have what is called a "Sweetheart Table" for just the two of them. The bridal party is then seated at a special table close to them. If you really want to have a table just for the bridal party, then my suggestion would be to not include any spouses or signifcant others and only have the bridal party seated at the head table. This is a very traditional way of seating them. You are only at the head table for a brief period of time during dinner, and then everyone can join their respective partners.

Hi Wendy and thank you for visiting my site. This is a very personal question and I think depends on how you and your fiance feel about your churches. If both churches will marry you then does one or the other of you have stronger feelings about being married in a church of your religion? If you can not decide that way, you might consider getting married in a non-denominational venue by a non-denominational officiant and incorporate whatever parts of your religions are important to each of you. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Treva and thank you for visiting my site. Having both fathers walk you down the aisle is just fine. It is a great way to honor both of them and have them be a part of your big day. You are lucky to have two special men in your life. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Dawn and thank you for visiting my site. It would seem fair for the Mother and Father of the bride to split the costs of the wedding if both parties can afford to do so. With all the diversity in families these days it is pretty common to have these situations. Unless the bride has some huge objection to it I would suggest skipping the parents dance all together. It does not make sense to make anyone uncomfortable and these traditions are all flexible since weddings have become so personalized. Good Luck!

Hi Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the grooms family pays for flowers and hosts the rehersal dinner. If the bride does not have a maid of honor or close family females to host her shower it would be a very nice gesture on your part, but it does not fall in your traditional responsibility. Have fun and wear what you want!

Hi Cecilia and Congratulations! I think no matter how many times you marry, what your age is or if you have grown kids or not you should have the wedding the two of you want to share together. If you are keeping it small you might consider doing one of the package Vegas weddings. These are very cost effective and still beautiful and it will give your guests a fun weekend away as well as attending your wedding. I highly reccomend "Victorias Chapel" and it is truly a one stop shop. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best!

Hello Renee and thank you for visiting my site. With families being so diversified these days the rules for payment of things are pretty flexible. It seems the most reasonable way to handle the cost of the rehersal dinner would be to split the cost, but it could also be decided based on who can afford what. Generally the rehersal dinner is held at a restaurant or hotel banquet room. Traditionally the wedding party and spouses or guests are invited as well as any out of town family that will be in town that night. The rehersal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding. You don't want to have it too much prior to the wedding because the bridal party may forget what you want them to do, especially if there are children in the wedding. It really depends on your friends and family if you want to serve alcohol at the rehersal dinner. If you feel some guests may be offended by offering alcohol you may want to have soft beverages only. If alcohol is being served at the wedding reception it should be fine to offer it at the rehersal dinner as well. Good luck and best wishes for a happy occassion.

Hi Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. I think it is fine to have your civil ceremony first and allow yourself the time to plan a larger formal wedding at a later date. It's actually a pretty common practice for several reasons. A lot of my couples are actually already married but wanted to allow themselves time to save up for the wedding they always wanted, sometimes up to 4 or 5 years later. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Yvonne and thank you for visiting my site. Your question is of a very personal nature and please understand that my answer is an "opinion" only. It sounds like your paternal father is being very selfish and if he does not wish to go along with the plans you want for your wedding, my advice would be to let him make his own decision and then just not worry about it. You are trying to include both of the men you love in your special day and if one chooses not to participate it is really his problem. Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

Hi Matt and thank you for visiting my site. There are many factors which determine how much you would spend on an officiant. If it is your Pastor or Priest it can be as low as $150.00, but it can go up as high as $750.00 for a Rabbi or non-denominational officiant.

Hello Beth and thank you for visiting my site. Generally the people you ask to assist with hosting at the church would help the ushers get the guests seated and hand out any programs you may have to your guests. If they are also acting as coordinators they would help get the bridal party lined up and tell them when to walk. If you have children in your bridal party they would also assist with them.

Hi Mary and thank you for visiting my site. Most families nowadays are very diversified and this is not an uncommon question at all. The bride should have the man she wishes to give her away walk her down the aisle and all other parties should walk with their significant others. There is no reason for divorced couples to be paired up at a wedding, it is more important that everyone feels comfortable to enjoy the special day. The only exception is if the couple really wants their parents to walk together for some reason.

Hi Kristyn and thank you for visiting my site. The person who is hosting your bridal shower is the one who makes the guest list. Traditionally it is not up to the bride. Usually your family or bridesmaids will inquire who you would really want to have at your shower, but the actual guest list and invitations are prepared by the hostess. If your mom is throwing your shower then she should be able to invite your cousins if that is what she wants. I would suggest leaving it to them and just having a great time at your party!

Yes, they should have waited to be ushered to a seat in the back as it sounds like they were late.

Hi Sharon and thank you for visiting my site. Anything your daughter wants on her special day is Okay! It is all about her and if she wants you to walk her down the aisle then I say do so with pride and enjoy yourself.

Hello Starr and thank you for visiting my site. It is not at all unusual for couple to want different things for their weddings. It sounds like a good starting point is for the two of you to make the decisions of where you are willing to compromise for one another's wishes. The first thing to do is establish a budget that you can work with and that may eliminate some of your choices. It is important to establish a budget and stick to it so that you don't end up making yourselves crazy. You could also create an online registry which will ultimately end up giving you cash gifts to assist in paying for the wedding. You might want to check out the wedding locations in Las Vegas on line...depending on where you live this can be a very cost effective option. Weddings cost about fifty percent less in Las Vegas and are inclusive of everything from ceremony to flowers, food, cake and music. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Tom and thank you for visiting my site. If you are going by "old school" tradition then the grooms side is responsible for the church and Pastor.

Hi Christine and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like you are having the ceremony and reception in the same room? There are a couple of different options if this is the case, you could have guests seated at the dinner tables for the ceremony and then have the DJ or band set up on the stage where the ceremony was held while you are having dinner, or if space permits in the ballroom could have the ceremony at one end of the room and then have the chairs put back around the dinner tables after the service. I would really need more information to answer your questions properly. I would suggest going over you options with the manager or event planner from the facility who is assisting you.

Hello Sheila and thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing at all wrong with asking your cousins to be ushers. I am sure they would be honored and it is not unusual for smaller weddings to forgo the bridal party and just have the Maid of Honor and Best man stand up for them. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Debra and thank you for visiting my site. Of course it's appropriate! Wear whatever you like. Just make sure you are comfortable and feel gorgeous, that is the only important factor.

Hello and thank you for visiting my set. The prelude is simply a time prior to the actual ceremony and guests are generally seated during this time.

Hi Pat and thank you for visiting my site. I really think the most important thing in this situation is to include the people your sister loves and wants in her wedding. The idea of having you push your dad in the wheelchair is perfect! This is totally tasteful and will include him and yourself in a very special way. I'm sure it will be beautiful!

Hello Ariell and thank you for visiting my site. I think if you like both dresses your mom should wear whichever one she feels best in. The most important thing is for her to be comfortable and feel like she looks great. Congratulations and best wishes.

Hello Ray and thank you for visiting my site. The runner is generally placed before the ceremony. Guests are not supposed to walk on the runner, but the rest of the bridal party usually walks down the aisle with the runner in place.

Hello Teresa and thank you for visiting my site. It is absolutely fine for you to walk by yourself, it even makes the walk down the aisle more dramatic! The most important thing is that you are happy and feeling good, so having someone next to you that does not inspire those feelings does not make sense. Walk alone with your head high!

Hello Pam and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. My suggestion would be to sit down with your wedding officiant and ask them how to incorporate the children in to the ceremony. There are so many different roles they could have that it depends on what you as a couple want.

Hello Robin and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. To my knowledge you must have a witness and a license to remarry. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Tiffany and thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing at all wrong with having your music on a CD, lot's of people use them. Sometimes it's even better because a live musician can mess up or have sound system problems and that won't happen with recorded music. Enjoy your day!

Hi Jessica and thank you for visiting my site. There are lots of non-denominational officiants that will customize a brief ceremony that you can incorporate in to your reception if that is what you choose to do. You can keep it short and do it as an introduction to the reception for those who were unable to be there for your original ceremony.

Hi Kori and thank you for visiting my site. There is no set number of attendants that have to stand up for the bride and groom. If you want your sister and best friend to be the only members of the bridal party, that would be just fine. Just to balance the setting maybe one could stand next to you and the other stand next to your fiance. It does not make sense to have somenone in your bridal party that is not very special to either the bride or groom, and there are no set rules as to how many on each side. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Heather and thank you for visiting my site. If you are not comfortable having another ceremony, how about just the reception. You can invite your family and friends to help you celebrate the union that has already taken place. There is nothing wrong with having another ceremony as well, but if it makes you feel weird you could just do the reception.

Hi Christina and thank you for visiting my site. I am sorry but you have not given enough information for me to suggest traditional ceremony information. What culture is the wedding? Different religions and different races have very different traditional customs.

Hello Jana and thank you for visiting my site. I truly feel for your dilema as I had the same issue with fathers and step fathers at my own wedding. I really think you need to follow your heart with this one. There are a lot of different ways you could do it, but what I felt worked best in my situation was to have my Stepfather who I was honestly closer to walk me down the aisle and then have the first dance with my biological father. This way they were both included. I think it would also be a good idea for you to have a conversation with each of them explaining how you feel and make sure everyone is comfortable with your solution. I wish you all the best!

Hello Chrissy and thank you for visiting my site. I am a firm believer that couples should have the wedding that they want and not what family or other influences want. I would pass on Uncle Jim if he will not perform the kind of ceremony you are both comfortable with and want for your wedding. There are lots of officiants that will customize your wedding to your personal beliefs and wishes. As far as what your dad will be wearing, does it really matter? If it does then I would politely tell him you respect his choice that he will not wear what you want the men to wear, but you want to keep the look consistant for the people in the Bridal party. You can make a spectacular entrance walkiing down the aisle alone, or you can bite the bullet and let you dad do what he wants.

Hello Diana and thank you for visiting my site. I think if you have hurt feelings you have hurt feelings, and it's not a matter of if you have a right to feel that way, you just do. It seems like it would have been handled better for your sister to talk to you about her engagement before announcing it. The only suggestion I have for you is to honestly let her know how her actions make you feel, and then move forward to plan the wedding of your dreams. Good Luck!

Hello Amber and thank you for visiting my site. A letter sounds like a perfect idea.

Hi Lacey, I would suggest having the girlfriends get up to join your bridesmen as they exit.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. If the bride and groom have not specified what they want you to wear it is pretty open and up to you. I think the outfit you have planned sounds lovely and appropriate for time of day. The most important thing is that you are comfortable and feel like you look great. It's a big day for you too!

Hello Lois and thank you for visiting my site. Unless the male friend is a partner it is really not appropriate for a man to bring one of his buddies to a wedding as his guest. Weddings are very expensive per person and while a date is fine, a random friend is not really okay.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Your question is really not a wedding question, but one of personal family situation. I of course have an opinion, but this is not something that has a simple answer or that I feel would be my business to comment on. The only thing I can say is that I am sorry for your pain.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. I do email the answers, but am only able to get to my questions every couple of weeks. This website is a hobby in addition to my day to day job and in the heat of wedding season I only answer the questions every couple of weeks or so.

Hello Jessica and thank you for visiting my site. This is pretty easy, your invitations should indicate that you are inviting your guests to celebrate your marriage of 00/00/00 (whatever date you got married) and go about it as a normal wedding reception. Congratulations!

Hello Todd and thank you for visiting my site. It is so nice that you want to be there for your stepdaughter. Since her father is there and they are close you really only need to do what she asks of you and have a great time! If the father was out of the picture it would be different, but in this case I would leave it to her to ask you for anything she may want from you.

Hi Kim and thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing the least bit in appropriate about having your father walk you down the aisle a second time. It's great that your dad is still there for you! Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Sandra and thank you for visiting my site. I have had many couples over the years who have lost one or both parents and done exactly as you are thinking about for their wedding receptions. You could either have a special placesetting for them at the table with your sister or I have had a lot of clients set up a special memorabilia table with photos and items that either belonged to or were special to their parents. I think this is a lovely sentiment. If you have a close relationship to your fiances father it would be very sweet to ask him to walk with you down the aisle, if not...you would probably be more comfortable asking a close friend or perhaps having your daughter escort you. Best wishes and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Honestly, in this day and age and particularly with this economy very few of my couples have their entire wedding paid for by either set of parents. The majority of couples have help from both sets of parents and put forth a good portion of the money if not all of the money themselves. I think it is perfectly reasonable to give your daughter a set amount of what you can contribute and let she and her fiance decide how they want to proceed. Good luck!

Hello Autumn and thank you for visiting my site. It would be very unusual for the venue or caterer not to require a guaranteed guest count. Even if they are not, I would recommend you give as close of a count as possible to ensure enough food.

Hello Lisa and thank you for visiting my site. I think the best thing to do would be to ask the bride and groom how they would feel about the announcement being made at their wedding. They may have no problem with it at all, but if they are not crazy about the idea then it really would not be right to do that. Congratulations on your engagement!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally guest pay there own way to a destination wedding and for their own lodging.

Hello Kim and thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing wrong at all with including a registry insert with the announcement. It will actually save your guests the trouble of having to get in touch with you or your daughter to find out where the couple is registered.

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. It is quite acceptable to invite guests to a reception only. You would invite them to celebrate your marriage and it is also perfectly acceptable to wear a wedding dress if this is your choice. You invitation specialist can be very helpful with different choices on the wording for the invitations. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. Cocktail length or tea length is very appropriate for a mid day wedding and reception. Color is not important unless specified by the bride.

Hello… and thank you for visiting my site. I think that sounds very pretty and usually the lighting is somewhat dim in a church so it should be a lovely effect. There is nothing about candles during the day that is in bad taste at all.

Hello Lalania and thank you for visiting my site. It is nobody's business or decision how you conduct your wedding other than you and your fiance. Do what you want and what makes you happy, that is what getting married is all about.

There are wonderful sights now to create your own registry that will actually just give you the money to buy what you want. I suggest you check out "Registry Palace" it will allow you to make your own honeymoon excursions, dinners, hotel nights, etc...and ask your guest to contribute via pay-pal. It is an awesome way to allow your guests to feel that they are getting you something you really want!

Hello Christine and thank you for visiting my site. I am not sure I understand the question, but as I see it the brides brother should be introduced as "brother of the bride"

Hello Tony and thank you for visiting my site. The roles are a little reversed on this, so I would suggest you pay for the rehearsal dinner, or just simply ask where your help is needed. Another thing families do a lot is the side not paying for the reception will offer to pay for the alcohol to off set the reception cost. It really depends on what you can afford to give. Congratulations!

While it is "traditional" for the Maid of Honor to host your shower, really anyone can give you one. If you are fortunate you may end up with more than one! Sometimes your co-workers will host a shower for you and it is also appropriate for your mother or your fiance's mom to give you a family shower. There are no set guidelines but if you are going by the book it should be your Maid of Honor.

Absolutely! Co-ed showers can be a blast...you can come up with a lot more games and be very creative if you include the men. If you want to do a co-ed shower but have a very traditional family and feel they may not approve or be happy with that, then consider having two. One for family and one for your friends.

The amount of time required to plan your wedding varies from couple to couple. There are several things to consider when making a time frame. How long will you need to save up the money for what you want for your wedding? How much notice would any out of town guests need? Are you having wedding attire made, or buying off the rack? Generally weddings can be planned in as little as three months, but most often people will give themselves a full year. Plan the wedding you would like to have out on paper and then go through and determine how long it will take to accomplish the tasks ahead of you.

Hi Melissa and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the wedding band goes on your finger first because it is closest to your heart :)

Hello Heather, Perhaps the guys could do something like go bowling or to one of those video arcade places like a "Dave and Busters"? I guess it would depend on what your fiancé enjoys doing. I have known grooms that spent the bachelor weekend on camping or fishing trips with their buddies as well. One additional option would be to do a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party and just invite all of your friends for a dinner party. Have a great time whatever you decide!

Hi Deanna and Congratulations to you on your big decision! Proposing is a very personal thing so I would just go with what feels natural for you. Perhaps you could give your boyfriend the gift over a romantic dinner in your hotel room and have room service deliver it on a covered plate? Whatever you decide I hope it turns out wonderful!

Hello Donna and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like you have a lot of people trying to tell you what to do for YOUR wedding. I am a firm believer that the bride and groom should plan all aspects of their wedding according to what they want and what makes them feel the most comfortable. I understand family drama can be disconcerting, but my honest advice would be to tell everyone you appreciate their input but will be making the plans as you and your fiance wish them to be.

Hi Mary and thank you for visiting my site. It is up to your guests to decide if they wish to bring an engagement gift. If they inquire to you directly the appropriate response would be no gifts. Some people will bring something anyway, but traditionally gifts are not given at the engagement party.

Hi Tammy and thank you for visiting my site. I guess it depends on the message you want to convey to them. I would suggest something light and friendly. Perhaps a blank card with a handwritten note expressing your excitement and that you look forward to meeting them soon.

Gifts are not traditionally expected at an engagement party...if you should choose to bring a gift something small like flowers or a bottle of wine is appropriate.

Hello Edward and thank you for visiting my site. It would be appropriate to include all of the information in the annoucement, this will let your freinds and family know of the impending marriage and that a celebration will follow at a later time. Congratulations on having a wonderful son!

There really isn’t anyone you have to invite to your wedding…I always tell my brides that it is your wedding and should be just as you want it. The only people that truly matter are you and your fiancée, as long as you are in agreement on the guest list you will be fine.

Like all aspects of your special day, the rehearsal dinner should include those you want to be there. Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is for family members, the bridal party and any guests who have traveled from out of town to be there for your wedding. If you are looking to cut costs it is perfectly acceptable to have a small dinner for just the parents and your bridal party.

Traditionally the parents of the groom host the rehearsal dinner. With weddings being so expensive and so many couples paying for most or all of their own weddings these older traditions have begun to fall by the wayside. It is likely you may find yourselves hosting the dinner. There are lots of ways to cut costs on your rehearsal. Consider having something at home or at a family members and do a "pot luck" type of event. If you are out of town for your wedding or just want something a little more upscale, restaurants tend to be less expensive than private banquet halls with catering. Serving a pasta dish is the most cost effective meal and it also takes care of any vegetarian guests you may have.

Word of mouth is the most common way to let your guests know where you are registered...people will ask you. It is appropriate and convenient to add a line onto your invitation or directional sheet to state where you are registered, such as: Visit our registry at RegistryPalace.com or Beth and James are registered at Macy's and Target

Most of the gifts you receive before the wedding will come from out of town or guests who are unable to attend. It is appropriate to open them when you get them and send a thank you at that time. It is also fine to wait until after the wedding and send all of your thank you notes together.

Hello. Thank you for visiting my site. Absolutely yes to both of your questions! You can plan another ceremony and reception or just reception since you are already married, to invite your friends and family now that you are back home. This is actually pretty common for people who attend college far from home or when they have had long distance relationships. The shower can be set up just prior to your reception or if you end up not having the reception you can just send invitations to say “Michele got married” join us in giving her a belated shower now that she is home” or something along those lines. Good luck and Congratulations!

Hello, Thank you for visiting my site. I take it your best friend is a male? What you need to do in this case is determine how much discomfort your fiancé will have with him being in the wedding. The other thing to consider is that traditionally the groomsmen stand up for the groom, not the bride. It might be a good idea to think of another way to have your best friend be part of your wedding. Perhaps an usher only. When making these kinds of decisions it is so important that both you and your fiancé are comfortable and happy with your choices, sit down and talk it out to see what you can come up with that works for both of you.

Hi and thank you for checking out my website. The tradition of something old is more ceremony than any thing else...I would say yes for a lot of items 10 years is old. The main thing about the sentimental traditions is that they are important to you. If the item is special and has been around for 10 years and is what you would like to have then I say go for it!

This is a decision that should be up to the bride…if you are having a “white” wedding and you do not mind other guests wearing white then there is absolutely nothing wrong with the mothers wearing white. Traditionally you will have accent colors for your weddings to be incorporated in the attendant gowns, centerpieces, favors and cake. Usually the mother’s are asked to wear this color as well. Bottom line it is appropriate for the bride to ask the mother’s to wear the color she wants them to be in.

This is a decision that should be up to the bride…if you are having a “white” wedding and you do not mind other guests wearing white then there is absolutely nothing wrong with the mothers wearing white. Traditionally you will have accent colors for your weddings to be incorporated in the attendant gowns, centerpieces, favors and cake. Usually the mother’s are asked to wear this color as well. Bottom line it is appropriate for the bride to ask the mother’s to wear the color she wants them to be in.

Hi Laurie, Thank you for visiting my site. Nothing wrong at all with getting married at the courthouse, you are saving yourself a ton of money and stress! You can order wedding announcements the same way you oder wedding invitations through many resources. Hallmark, Wedding Shops, the internet, etc..You should send the announcements out stating the date you and your fiance were married. They will have examples for you to look at for the wording. Some people will probably send you gifts on their own as a matter of choice, but it is also okay to register somewhere and include that on the annoucement. If you do that you will recieve a higher percentage of friends and family sending you a gift. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello again...I would suggest keeping the wording simple, something like "due to limited space this is a stand up ceremony, seating is available for those with special needs. A stand up reception is not rude at all, just try to keep the ceremony to 20 minutes or less. Take care.

Hi and thank you for visiting my website. My husband and I had exactly the same issue...that is why he created our honeymoon registry and where he got the idea for Registry Palace my website host. Click on Registry palace on my home page for all of the directions as to how to set it up. Then you can add a line on your invitation or directional card saying "Visit our wedding registry at ....." or " Michael and Valerie are registered on line at.....". We were able to almost fully pay for our honeymoon through our website and did not end up receiving a bunch of gifts we did not need. Good luck and congratulations!

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. I agree it is somewhat rude not to include the word "guest" when sending invitations to a single person. It is however understood as far as protocal that you are welcome to bring a guest. Most people use the guidelines listed wherever the invitations are purchased and examples of invitations for single people are shown with the single name. I understand your frustration, but your friend is right, you should feel free to RSVP for yourself and a guest. It is also a good idea to include the name of your guest in the event placecards are being used.

Hi Cynthia and thank you for visiting my site. Unfortunately this is not really a question of "wrong" or "right". It is a very personal issue. I agree with you, I have seen a number of weddings where the groom walks his mother down the aisle. I have even seen grooms who have their mothers stand up for them in place of the best man. I too find this charming and very touching. It sounds like your daughter in law to be is determined to have the spot light all to herself. Have you spoken with your son about it? Since it is their wedding it is ultimately their decision, but your son should have some input as well. If it does not work out I would suggest just trying to be happy for him and enjoying the day. Best of luck!

Hello Lynn and thank you for visiting my site. It is lovely that you are going to be part of your daughters wedding. I'm not sure I understand your question...would you rather not stand during the ceremony? Is that what you are asking? Either way is fine as long as you are both comfortable with it.

Hi Donna and thank you for visiting my site. Generally either the females in the bridal party or the brides father ride to the church with the bride, but this is not set in stone. She can really have whomever she chooses.

Hi Kristy and thank you for visiting my site. It is actually pretty common for brides to select best friends or others over siblings to be their Maids of honor. You should really have the person who is going to make you the most comfortable and who you think will accept the responsibilities of Maid of honor the way you want them to. I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your sister and letting her know you are aware it would be financial hardship for her to come up with money for her dress as well as try to put together your shower and such. Don't worry about what other people may think as it is not at all uncommon. Remember it's your wedding and it should be as you want it.

Hi Penny and thank you for visiting my site. "Traditionally" the groom should not see the dress, but nowadays it is really a personal decision of the bride.

Hi Judy and thank you for visiting my site. A female can also be called ring bearer, but ring attendant or just bridal attendant is also suitable.

Hi Tara and thank you for visiting my site. I don't think couples should include people in the bridal party unless they really want them there. There are several other duties you could give to your sister in law to be. Guest book attendant, have her make place cards and seat guests or even have her assist as an usher. The most important thing is that the people you select to stand up for you make you feel comfortable and happy.

Hi Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. Generally the unity candle is part of the ceremony and is done prior to being pronounced man and wife. Your officiant should guide you through the order of the ceremony. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. While I understand why you are uncomfortable with the non-traditional position of standing up for your brother, it is actually very common these days. With families now being so diverse the traditional rolls have changed and it is not at all uncommon to see females in what used to be strictly male rolls and vice versa. If you are truly uncomfortable I would suggest sitting down with your brother and his fiancé and having a discussion of how you might participate in the wedding and still feel good about it. It is your brothers special day and I am sure he wants you to be part of it and be happy to be there for him. As far as if you should have hurt feelings over it, consider the fact that brides get very caught up in the way they want things to be and may not always think about the effect on other people. Try to be magnanimous and understand that this is a very stressful and exciting time in a woman's life and just enjoy yourself and be happy for your brother. He will love you all the more for it.

Hi Gene and thank you for visiting my site. No it is not wrong to have to primary attendants, it's your wedding and should be set up as you wish. The only thing I can suggest regarding your sister's lack of urgency is to sit down with her and discuss what your expectations are from your maid of honor. Perhaps you could approach it by saying you were wondering what responsibilities she would like your best friend to take? I hope everything works out and congratulations.

Hi Courtney and thank you for visiting my site. You and your maid of honor should plan your shower together, and one that will be fun and affordable. If you step-mother wants to host a shower on her own that is lovely, but you should not feel obligated to invite her or her family to your bridal shower hosted by your maid of honor. It would be kind to let your stepmother know that your attendant is on a budget and must keep the guest list limited. It is very nice that they want to be included but a bit of bad form to invite themselves. Congratulations and good luck to you!

Hi Cece and thank you for visiting my site. Family issues tend to come up a lot when planning weddings. It is a very emotional time for a lot of reasons. The only suggestion I really have is to be honest with everyone involved and let them know their behavior is making you uncomfortable and unhappy. I am sure that no one wants to spoil your wedding and if you let them know that's what they are doing perhaps they will stop. Good Luck to you!

Hi Regina and thank you for visiting my site. When asking friends and family to celebrate your marriage it is proper etiquette to pay for your guests. If you are on a budget perhaps a potluck party would be just as fun? Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Stephanie and thank you for visiting my site. There are several things you could have your younger cousin do for you. If she is under 10 a flower girl would of course be appropriate. If she is an adult or young adult you could ask her to be your guest book attendant or gift table attendant and perhaps assist with the seating of your guests as a hostess.

Absolutely!!! It is both appropriate and special to have the father participate in the wedding.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. My feeling is that your wedding should be just as you want it and there are no specific rules. Budget is always a great reason to give people as to why you are keeping your wedding small. If you are able to include them in a party of some sort prior or after that is just an added bonus! Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Roseann and thank you for visiting my site. It is very generous of you to extend a budget of $7000.00 to your daughter and her fiancé. If they can not agree on a venue that works in that price range then I think you should let them know you will contribute that amount and they can do what they will. This will give you the opportunity to contribute what you wish to but leave the ball in their court. If the groom wants this venue so badly then he can sport for the food or have a silly reception. I do not suggest trying to force the issue as this will only cause you additional stress at an already stressful time. Simply say here is the $7000.00 I have to give you and I just want you to be happy. You will ultimately feel better.

Hi Karin and thank you for visiting my site. Second weddings are so very common now that there really are no particular "rules". Generally people will have numerous friends and family at a second wedding that may have also attended the first. This is really no big deal, so I would say don't worry about it at all and enjoy your day!

Hello again Debbie. It is not necessary for the Mother of the Bride to wear the attendant colors, however it is traditional to ask the bride what color she would like you to wear and it should compliment the wedding colors.

Hi Kathy and thank you for visiting my site. Regardless of who is paying it is traditionally correct for the parents of the bride to be introduced first. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Carol and thank you for visiting my site. It is actually not appropriate for women who remarry to wear both sets of rings. I would suggest having the original wedding set made in to another piece of jewelry. Perhaps a cocktail ring or a pendant.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Yes it is okay to request cash gifts for your wedding. Many couples get married when they have already established households or lived together for awhile and don't need the traditional towels, dishes, etc...for gifts. My suggesting would be to create a honeymoon registry on line and instruct your guests that is where you are registered. This way you can list items you want such as excursions for your your honeymoon with a cash value and they can purchase gifts through pay pal which will go directly into an account for you. You can see a good example with one of my site sponsors at Registry Palace.com. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Sam and thank you for visiting my site. You can include a line on the invitation or directional card which indicates where you are registered. Many couples also have websites where their guests can be directed to get information on the wedding, registry etc...If you have not yet set up your registry account a great place to look is RegistryPalace.com. This service is free for six months and will allow you to create your registry for anything you want and get cash quickly and easily through pay pal. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Tristine and thank you for visiting my site. I believe it is up to the bride and groom to decide who they wish to be part of the bridal party. If you want the grooms parents included that is just fine. If the parents are not actually standing up for you as Maid of Honor, Best Man or attendant, they generally do not walk down the aisle, however you can plan your processional in any manner you wish. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. There are several options for seating arrangement of the parents. If your son has siblings that are not in the wedding party or you and your ex have siblings they could also be seated between the two of you. There are no hard fast "rules" saying the parents need to be seated next to each other, so I would just explain to your son how uncomfortable it makes you and ask him to come up with another option.

Hi Laurie and thank you for visiting my site. How cool that your friend asked you to stand up as best man. I would assume the responsibilities would be the same, but I would simply ask him/her what they would like you to wear. My feeling is that everyone should design and execute their own wedding day in the manner that will make them the most happy. You can refer to yourself as "standing up for" this person rather than the best man. As far as the bachelor party, again I would ask what would be the most fun for your friend to celebrate the last days of bachelor hood.

Hello Erin and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like you have wonderful in-laws to be! Rather than sending multiple individual thank you notes, my suggestion would be to sit down with your fiancé and draft a heart felt letter thanking them for all of the things they are doing for the two of you. You could even get very creative and tape yourselves on video telling them how grateful you are and how very much you appreciate them. This would give them a "pre-wedding" keep sake to keep forever.

Hi Nancy and thank you for visiting my site. I think you have come up with a creative and effective way of introducing both "best men" and it sounds just fine. Another option would be to simply state there are two best men.

Hello Marisa and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate for the bridal party to give the bride and groom wedding presents. It is an expensive time for close friends of the bride, but a shower gift and wedding present should not be combined.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I don't believe it is at all rude not to want children at your bridal shower. The best wording for your invitation is "This is an adult occasion". This is also appropriate for your wedding invitations.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Your best man is the person included in your wedding party, not his fiancé. She should only be included if the other bridal party members are including their spouses or significant others. It would be nice to invite her to the rehearsal dinner, but traditionally she would not be included in the limo ride from the church and definitely not seated at the head table for the bridal party. I hope this helps.

Hi Janie and thank you for visiting my site. No, it's not in bad taste if only the parents are inside the gazebo. It would be wrong to have some guests inside and some guests outside, but not if it is just the parents and bridal party. Sometimes that is all space permits.

Hi Susan and thank you for visiting my site. Since you are planning a "destination" wedding, it is actually the proper etiquette for you and your fiancé to pay for it your selves. I would suggest explaining to your father that since you were not having a traditional wedding and reception that you understood you were to pay for it. As you are reading this answer it would now be truthful to say you "read somewhere" that it was appropriate for you to pay.

Hi Rochelle and thank you for visiting my site. You can find samples of wedding announcements at any shop that sells invitations or check "google" on the internet and you should be able to pull up a lot of examples. Announcements are sent out just like invitations 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Catherine and thank you for visiting my site. Unless you have already sent out invitations you really don't need to send cards advising of a date change. Letting people know that you have had to push back your plans by word of mouth is totally appropriate. If by chance you have already sent invitations I would suggest writing a brief letter to everyone (copy the same letter) "Dear family and friends" and just explain that your plans have changed and the wedding will take place at a letter date. There is no need to go in to a great deal of explanation as it is really no ones business.

Hi Liz and thank you for visiting my site. No, not at all tacky for the grooms mom to wear wedding colors. It is actually traditional for both mothers to wear the wedding colors. Congratulations!

Hi Laurie and thank you for visiting my site. Since your bridesmaid to be made a personal choice to opt out of being in your wedding after she had committed to you, I don't think you are responsible for any of her purchases. She is making her decision based on a personal feeling, not an act of god or something she can not control. I would just tell her you appreciate her feelings and move on to selecting another friend to replace her at your wedding. Good Luck!

Hi Jen and thank you for visiting my site. Honestly...my advice would be to just ignore anyones issues with how you are planning your wedding. First of all it is your day and should be just as you want it to be and secondly, since you are paying for everything no one has any right to have input into how you are planning it. I understand it can be difficult, but just try to remember it is all about you and your fiancé on that very special day! Congratulations and good luck.

Hi Amy and thank you for visiting my site. Well, a girl can never have too many parties in her honor in my opinion. Perhaps you could theme the shower for everyone to give lingerie or something fun that she doesn't reallly need but would like. The other option would be to plan an outing instead of a traditional shower. Spa days are great for second or third showers.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I have seen weddings where the father is the officiant before. In my experience the bride and her father walk down together, the father hands the bride over to her husband to be and takes his place to marry them. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally it is the responsibility of the parents of the groom to pay for the rehearsal dinner. If you give your daughter in law a card or certificate for the dinner for her shower gift, in essence you are not really giving her a shower gift. Honestly I do think it would be a little tacky.

Hi Anne and thank you for visiting my site. I am in complete agreement that your daughter should be surrounded by the people she loves and that love her on her wedding day. I also think it is always best to be totally honest and if they do not want to have this person at their wedding I don't think they should invite her. If this offends your husbands sister then she of course has the option not to attend. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Dana and thank you for visiting my site. If you would like your Pastor to join you for the reception it is appropriate to send an invitation.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Usually the officiant lights the tapers for the bride and groom. If this is not going to work you could have the best man come up to light them as well.

Hi Cynthia and thank you for visiting my site. There is no "set" place for your Father to be seated under these circumstances. It is quite common for one or both of the bride or grooms parents to be remarried and it is up to the family as to where is comfortable for everyone to be seated. If the relationship between your parents is cordial there is no reason your father can't be seated with the rest of the family. If it is not, perhaps the front row of the grooms side could work. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. In my opinion your fiance's cousin is being selfish and ridiculous! The bride and groom choose the people who stand up for them based on the people they feel most close to and want surrounding them on their most special day. It has nothing to do with spouses or significant others and never has. I think it is very rude that this young lady is trying to impose her wishes on your wedding. Do not worry that you are breaking etiquette here, she is the one who is out of line. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Lisa and thank you for visiting my site. Since you are just doing a dessert reception and not a sit down meal service it is just fine to have limited seating. This is very similar to a cocktail style party and you don't need to have a place for everyone to sit down to eat. They can all mingle around during the reception and as long as you have a few places for elderly people to sit down it is just fine.

Hi Kathy and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like you are a terrific maid of honor! Traditionally you should get the bride and groom a wedding gift. If it is really a financial strain, you could always do a gift certificate for them to redeem a lovely dinner at your home some time in the future. This would be a cost effective, creative and still thoughtful wedding present.

Hi Dena and thank you for visiting my site. Honestly with the diversity in families these days there are no set rules as to how things should proceed. I always suggest to my couples they line up and proceed however makes them the most comfortable. As far as the traditional aspects of the wedding like the receiving line and cake, if you want those to happen then go for it! Gifts to all of your attendants should be very personalized to show them how much you appreciate their support. If you have a twelve year old boy I would think a "game boy" or something such would be just perfect. You know what he likes, so get him something especially for him. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Tracy and thank you for visiting my site. What a wonderful happy story you have! Weddings today are so very diverse with all types of situations and different family integrations that "proper etiquette" is really a touchy question. My advice to the couples I meet with and plan weddings with is too plan the wedding of their dreams and that would make them the most comfortable and happy. You and your fiance have built a life together and deserve to celbrate your union in the way that satifies you the most. If you have always dreamed of a traditional "white dress" wedding, then I would say go for it! Whatever you can afford and whatever works for you is just fine. Weddings are all about the bride and groom and what they want to express to each other and loved ones on the day they marry. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the brides name appears first on everything. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Katie and thank you for visiting my site. I understand this is a sensitive subject, but it is perfectly acceptable to have your mothers new boyfriend sit next to her at your wedding. The only way I would say you should leave the space empty in honor of your late father is if that is what you truly want to do. Honestly in all my years of experience with weddings I have never had a bride do that, so it is completely up to you.

Hi Deborah and thank you for visiting my site. "This is an adult occassion" is a good way to word not having children at your reception. You can find other examples at card shops that make invitations also, such as Hallmark or Crown.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I am not really sure what the best way to handle this would be. What about something like if you introduced your parents who raised you and then saying something like "I am also so pleased to have (Mother's name and Father's name who have just recently become a part of my life again". This is such a sensitive and personal issue that I hesitate to give advice on it. I wish you all the best.

Hello Marci and thank you for visiting my site. I would say since you did choose to go on the cruise and got to enjoy it that it would be appropriate to give them a traditional wedding gift.

Hello Ann and thank you for visiting my site. Generally if a young man is invited as a guest and not in the wedding party a suit would be more appropriate than a tuxedo. If the invitation indicates "black tie" then it is open for anyone to wear a tux.

Hi Lissa and thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing at all wrong with having a civil ceremony now and then a more traditional large wedding and reception later when you can better afford it. Lots of couples find themselves in this situation. There is no reason not to treat yourselves to that big event at a later time that works better for you and go ahead and get married now. Congratulations!

Hi Paula and thank you for visiting my site. If you are hosting a traditional wedding and reception there is nothing wrong with registering for gifts even if it is a second wedding. If you were planning to run off and elope it would be a little tacky to ask for gifts, but no worries if you are planning a wedding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Deb and thank you for visiting my site. Generally it depends on what you are having as favors to determine how many you order. If you are doing something simple like matches or Jordon almonds traditionally it is one per person at each placesetting on the tables. If you are doing something more expensive like picture frames or candles then one per couple or single individual is acceptable. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Your questions are really determined by the relationship between the father and his ex-wife. As far as the wording the invitations can use the full names of each parent. For example: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Mary Johnson ask you to share the joy of their daughter...Since this is so common these days there are lots of examples at invitation stores or on line that you can look at. As far as seating it really depends on the relationship between the parties. It is always best to make sure everyone is comfortable with who they are seated with. If everyone gets along well then one family table is great. If this is not the case then it is better to separate the two family tables. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Marcy and thank you for visiting my site. Bridal parties have become very diversified and are now generally referred to as "attendants". It is fine if all of the women are married in the bridal party. If your daughter does not want to single out one special "Matron of Honor", then all of the girls should just be referred to as attendants.

Hello Anna and thank you for visiting my site. I apologize for the delay in getting back to you...it is wedding season and I have been terribly busy! I think it is important for all family involved in the planning of the wedding to discuss all options. There are always compromises to be made and it is always okay to make suggestions. It sounds like your options to getting married in the small not so great looking church are very reasonable. If the grooms family is insistant I do think it is fair to ask them to pay for the church costs, particularly since there will be no rehersal dinner. The most important thing is that the bride and groom come to a solution that will make them both happy and comfortable on their special day.

Hi Dixie and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the brides maids and maid of honor do pay for their own attire. I think you made the right decision by releasing the cousin of the responsibility. If she was fussing at this early stage and not cooperating it would have just caused more hassle than it was worth. Now she can buy whatever dress she likes to wear to the wedding and everyone will be happy!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I think the most important aspect for a woman in her third trimester is that she is comfortable. As long as you look nice and feel good in what you are wearing I would say just about anything is appropriate.

Hi Deb and thank you for visiting my site. When I have seen 2 best men listed on programs it has always had both names listed as "Best Man". I believe that is the appropriate way to list them.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Generally the Pastor will have a set fee, usually ranging from about $150-$250 for members of the church and maybe a little higher for non-members. If you Pastor is leaving the amount up to you, I would suggest somewhere within this amount.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Congratulations on your union! I don't see anything wrong with your plans or the way you have done things thus far. It seems no matter how a couple plans their wedding someone is going to be miffed over something. My advice is to proceed with your plans as the two of you wish and not be overly concerned about the opinions of friends and family. A couples wedding is a very personal and special occassion and is not about what other people think or want. Take care and best of luck to you!

Hi Irene and thank you for visiting my site. You can either buy or make a "card box" for your wedding that is generally placed on the gift table at the reception. Once your guests have arrived have someone assigned to take the box to your bridal suite or someones car for safekeeping. If you are having your reception at a venue that offers a "gift attendant" that person will be responsible for logging and keeping track of your gifts and envelopes until the end of the evening.

Hi Kim and thank you for visiting my site. If the trip to Mexico is a financial hardship for you, then a card would be appropriate. Have a great time!

Hello Paula and thank you for visiting my site. There really is no right or wrong amount to give a bride and groom...it really depends on what you can afford and how close you are to the couple. If you really feel like you need some protocol on this, one way to determine the amount is how much the couple is spending per person on the reception. If the reception is $100 per head and you have 3 guests attending from your family, then a $300.00 gift is appropriate. Again, not carved in stone but one method people use.

Thank you cards should be sent out no later than 3 months after the wedding. Some sources say up to a year is appropriate, my personal feeling is that is kind of rude.

Hi Corninne and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate to make the check out to Mr. and Mrs. ....if you know that the bride is taking her new husbands name. Otherwise you might want to consider buying an American Express gift card. It will serve the same purpose as a check but eliminate any uncertainty as to who to make it out to.

Hi Dot and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the party hosting the rehersal dinner makes the decision on the venue for the dinner. This is one of the few choices that the bride does not get to make. There is nothing wrong with a back yard barbecue, it is comfortable and friendly and everyone will probably have a really good time. As far as who is invited it is customary to have the entire bridal party, immediate family (parents, siblings) and any guests who are traveling far from out of town. Of course lots of families make variations on the guest list.

Hello Nikki and thank you for visiting my site. Most of the couples I work with who are renewing their vows do it exactly like it was a first wedding. You have a lot of flexibility here, so I would suggest planning it exactly as you would like to have it.

Hi Sandy and thank you for visiting my site. Definitely a no on the thank you cards, but I am uncertain about the gifts. It seems to me it should be the responsibility of the person leaving the relationship to deal with it. If I were the bride I would probably send everyone close to me a brief letter explaining my situation and let my husband deal with the whole gift issue.

Hello Heather and thank you for visiting my site. Gifts for the bridal party can be anything you feel they would like. Since you don't have a ton of money to spend, something hand made would be very thoughtful. Most brides give their bridal party something to wear on the day of the wedding, such as jewelry to match the dresses or gift certificates to pay for hair and makeup that day. I don't think you should go overboard on your spending since you are so young and just starting out. These girls are the people who are closest to you and anything you give them will be appreciated.

Hello Jan and thank you for visiting my site. It is great to have an engagement party and in some cultures even part of the wedding celebration. It can be thrown by either side or by the couple themselves.

Hi Sharon and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest listing your name and your husbands name on the invitation and not having the names of parents. Usually this is when couples are very young and the parents are hosting the wedding. It would be lovely to have your son walk you down the aisle. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Jessica and thank you for visiting my site. The only option I can see is for you to talk to your father and let him know how important it is to you that your mother is comfortable at your wedding. I would ask him to come alone.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. My personal philosophy is that everything should be confronted with honesty. I think it's a good idea for you to ask your friend why she has not been there for your children and you. She may have financial issues or another good reason and if not at least you will know that too. It seems like things always work out if they are approached truthfully and confronting her will keep you from carrying a resentment. Good Luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Oh my... she will be very pregnant on 7/7/07. I really think this is a personal decision and have no suggestions. I mean seriously, she will be ready to pop! Best of luck to you.

Hello Megan and thank you for visiting my site. You make some very valid and good points and I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is the bride and grooms special day and their desires should not be questioned. I can't tell you how many of my brides face dilemma's with who and who not to invite based on pressure from family, budget, etc...Many of my couples have to take people off of their lists who they really want in order to accommodate family or other peoples wishes. Thank you for sharing your views on this matter.

Hello Jaime and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. Destination weddings are often kept very small and there is nothing at al wrong with that.

Hello Jaime and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I don't think it would make sense to invite everyone to Hawaii, you are correct in that most people will not be able to afford it. I would suggest you send announcements rather than invitations, this way if someone wants to send a gift they can but they are not obligated. Congratulations!

Hello Laura and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. It is not necessary for you to have someone in your wedding just because you were in their wedding. Everyone has a different circle of friends and family members and you are entitled to have those closest to you stand up for you at your wedding.

Hello Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. The bridal party is not responsible to purchase the items for the wedding. Generally showers are themed in some way...lingerie shower, kitchen shower etc...if the bride wants items for the wedding you could theme it towards that.

Hello Lisa and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I see nothing wrong with your daughter selecting the date she wants. Why would two weddings in one year be an issue? I can't understand why this should upset anyone.

Hello Linda and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. Honesty is always best!

Hello Janet and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I think it would be just lovely for your family to have a wedding celebration and this is perfectly acceptable. The wording is simple, "join us to celebrate the marriage of..." or some variation of that.

Hello Diane and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I am afraid you may not like my response...I am a firm believer that the bride and groom should be allowed to invite whomever they want. I do think this was very rude of them and agree with you that it is in bad taste.

Hello Donna and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. This is such a personal situation and decision it is difficult for me to answer...I do have a couple of suggestions. One way to honor your daughter is to include something in the blessing prior to dinner being served if you plan on having one. Another thing people often do is to include something in the program that is given to guests at the ceremony. "In Memory of...etc, I am sorry for your loss and wish you all the best.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. It is very rude for guests to respond for others who were not included on the invitation. This is very common and happens to everyone. Although it may be a little uncomfortable it is absolutey appropriate for you to call Mr. and Mrs. X and let them know the invitation was only for the two of them and you hope they will be able to attend but the guest list is limited. If they decline or are insulted, too bad! They are in breach of the correct etiquette, not you.

Hello Diana and thank you for visiting my site. If you have a special relationship with a vendor and want to thank them by giving them a favour that is very nice, but not expected from vendors in general. Depending on the type of favour you are giving a lot of people do one per couple as opposed to one per person.

Hello "the mom" and thank you for visiting my site. This is of course a very personal decision for you and your family, but keep in mind many many couples have wedding ceremonies and receptions 20 or 30 years after they have already been married. If circumstances prevent someone from having the wedding of their dreams including the ceremony at the right time for them to wed, I don't see anything wrong with having friends and loved ones celebrate both ceremony and reception at a later date.

Hello Dawn, thank you for visiting my site. It is not necessary to give a gift to your bridal shower host. This is traditionally an event for the bride and a thank you gift is not required. A card would be a nice touch. Congratulations and good luck.

Hi Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. Of course this is a personal decision, but my feeling is that you should only have people you really want to be at your wedding to celebrate with you. Overall in life honesty is always the best way to go.

Hi Lindsey and thank you for visiting my site. "Technically" it would be poor ettiquette to only invite these friends to the shower and bachlorette party, however I think if they are good friends just explaining your reasons to them would a good idea. Everyone understands that budget restrictions or space restrictions make it so that a lot of couples can not have everyone attend the wedding and dinner. I am sure if you ask them they would love to be included in the fun for the shower and other parties. Being straight forward and up front is always going to leave you feeling best.

Hi Kathy and thank you for visiting my site. Save the date cards would be a great idea since you will have people traveling. That way they can have plenty of time to make travel and possibly vacation plans. I think it would be lovely for you to throw a shower in Michigan as long as it does not create a hardship on the couple to travel there.

Hi Laura and thank you for visiting my site. Lot's of couples forgo the bouquet and garter toss. It is a matter of personal preference.

Hello Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. There is no etiquette that requires you to invite these people. If you have grown fond of them and would like them to be there then that's great, but it is not necessary just to be polite.

Hello Lacey and thank you for visiting my site. I believe you should invite only those guests that you really want to be at your wedding. There is no set etiquette for this, it is a personal decision. A lot of my brides have dozens of guests at their weddings that they don't even know. I personally think this is silly. It is really not cool to invite people to a portion of the wedding and most caterers will not allow you to add on guests beyond the guaranteed dinner guest count. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Roxy and thank you for visiting my site. If you can afford to pay the expenses for your minister you should. I'm sure he is probably on a fixed income. Traditionally his wife would not be included unless you are also inviting them as a couple to be guests of your wedding. Either way I don't think it is your responsibility to pay the wifes travel expenses.

Hello Cyndi and thank you for visiting my site. If the parents of the bride and groom are hosting the wedding and all othe other events that go with it, that IS the wedding gift!

Hi Lanee and thank you for visiting my site. My suggestion would be to go with an online registry that you create yourself. The gifts are all money that goes through paypal and is put in an account for you. That way you could list the items you would like to receive along with the dollar amount and buy them. You can create scenarios for cash gifts as well to go towards the purchase of your home. Check out "Registrypalace.com" to see what I am talking about.

Hi Aimee and thank you for visiting my site. Usually when a parent is gone they are mentioned in a program or as part of a memorial toast at the wedding. If you want your mom's name to be in the invitation, the only thing I can think of is to have it printed after your name. So an example would be "Aimee Jones, Daughter of Mary jones and Joe Smith along with their parents or of course listing the two sets of parents. I hope this helps and best wishes.

Hello Elsa and thank you for visiting my site. Lot's of couples have multiple events attached to their weddings and there is nothing wrong with wearing your gown more than once for a post wedding function.

Hello Janice and thank you for visiting my site. It really depends on the relationship of the step parent and the bride and grooms feelings about how the names are listed. The easiest way to handle this type of situation is to use the bride and grooms names followed by "together with their parents" which covers everyone.

Hello Dorothy and thank you for visiting my site. There is no set rule of thumb for addressing the placecards. Some people put both names on one card and some people use each individuals name on the cards. It is really a matter of personal preference.

Hello Judy and thank you for visiting my site. To my knowledge there is no set amount of time for weddings to take place in the same family. It seems to me this would be a discussion among the family members to make sure everyone is okay with dates that may be close to one another.

Hi Joetta and thank you for visiting my site. You can have invitations or announcements printed to say anything you like. For your situtation you could send out announcements that your daughter has gotten married and you all look forward to celebrating with all of your friends and family upon their return from Japan in 2010. The printer for the invitations should have tons of samples of ways to word this and it is actually not that uncommon. Good Luck!

Hello Gary and thank you for visiting my site. I run in to this a lot with brides and actually had the same dilema myself when I married. My guess is like myself and many other young ladies with 2 dad's in their lives it was just too painful to try and decide who should walk your daughter down the aisle. Perhaps it just seemed easier to her to ask her mother do walk her. I hope you can understand that her decision was most likely based on love for you and her step father.

Hello Jen and thank you for visiting my site. Sorry to say there is no specific etiquette for your situation, this is just something the two of you will need to work out a compromise on. Good practice for the rest of married life!

Hi Melissa and thank you for visiting my website. Congratulations to you on both accounts! I think your idea about sending a pregnancy announcement is a good one and in this tough economy it makes a lot of sense to cut back on your wedding expenses and be prepared for the new baby. Good Luck!

Hello Reggie and thank you for visiting my site. Weddings are so wide open now there are no specific perameters and if you want a Sunday morning garden wedding that sounds just lovely. You could either do a brunch or lunch reception or even keep it as simple as cake and beverages depending on what you budget allows.

Hi Celeste and thank you for visiting my site. I have to be honest and say good lord we are all grown ups in this situation. So many of the questions posted on this website are really of a very personal nature, yours included and I can only offer my opinon. It sounds to me like there is a lot of love and feelings of comfort in your realationships and that you shoud be able to proceed forward in any way that you wish. It is okay for you to wear anything that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful! It's your wedding... I truly wish you all the best.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. This one is easy…if this is your best friend you should just be totally honest and tell her you don’t want to feel unattractive or uncomfortable at her wedding and please work with you regarding the dress. Since you are the Maid of honor and not just a bridesmaid, it is not at all unusual for you to have a completely different style from the other girls. Good Luck!

Hello Missy and thank you for visiting my site. I think it would be okay to move forward with the shower as long as you don't have another one closer to the date. You will have the opportunity to explain it to your guests at the party. Another option would be to change it to an engagement party if you did not have one.

Hello Tracy and thank you for visiting my site. If your folks are paying for a portion or all of the wedding I would suggest you word the program something like "Tracy and Alan together with their families"....this way it includes everyone without using names. If they are not contributing financially then it is not even necessary to include them on the programs/invitations unless you want to. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. Yikes, sorry about your situation. Lot's of couples go through things like this with family in planning a wedding. Since your parents are contributing a large portion of money to the wedding they do have a right to have a say about the guest list. I also agree that your fiance should be able to deal with his own parents as he sees fit. I think the most important thing would be to keep communication open and let your fiance know how important it is to you that no bad feelings are created.

Hello Anne and thank you for visiting my site. If the wedding guests are mainly close friends and family then I don't think it is necessary to invite the parents of your daughters sister's fiance. If it is a huge wedding with many guests being mere acquaintances then it would be somewhat rude not to include them.

Hello Jennifer and congratulations to you! I am sorry to hear you had some very rude people cause you to spend so much extra money. Unfortunately this is not that unusual and happens to quite a few people. There is really no recourse that would not cause your husband to be uncomfortable at his workplace and that probably is not a good idea. I can understand your frustration and wish I had some better advice, but there is really nothing you can do about this rude behavior.

Hello Dave and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like this man is just kind of a very casual jokester type of guy with bad manners. My advice would be to not take it personally and consider the source. It appears he just has bad taste and bad manners. Your daughters happiness is what is important, so my suggestion is to let this go.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest you inform your guest of your on line registry which allows them to contribute cash to items you want through pay pal. You can set it up any way you like, but ultimately what you will end up with is cash. You can see an example I recommend at registrypalace.com

Hello George and thank you for visiting my site. If you can not afford to do this then I think you should just share that with your kids. Most weddings over the past several years are not funded solely by the parents. Generally speaking everyone pitches in when and where they can. It is unreasonable to expect people to put out a large amount of money if it will present a hardship on them. Good luck!

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. It is traditionally the responsibility of the Maid of honor to arrange and pay for the bridal shower. Technically if she is unable to do so, she should not have accepted the invitation to be Maid of honor. It is perfectly acceptable for you to bow out of the shower plans and just explain that you have enough on your plate.

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. This is actually a pretty common issue based on different religions and cultures for a lot of people. Your solution is what most people do, have the ceremony and light reception at church followed by an “after party” for those guests who are okay with dancing and/or drinking depending. This does involve some additional cost but is the most effective way to ensure that your daughter and family are able to enjoy all of the aspects they would like for her special day. Good luck and best wishes!

Dear MIL, invite them to both...if they can't come, they can't come...

Hi Charlie and thank you for visiting my site. I guess I would say do what you feel more comfortable doing. Since your niece is an adult just signing with your given name is completely appropriate, but at the same time if you would like her to refer to you as an Aunt it is a very friendly gesture to sign the card "Aunt Charlie".

Hi Jessica and thank you for visiting my site. It is more appropriate to send a registry with the invitation for guests to come to a reception. Just the announcement is best for your destination wedding. Congratulations!

Traditionally the best man is responsible for hosting the bachelor party, picking up out of town guests, and holding the rings on the day of the ceremony. Of course the most important role of the best man is the wedding toast. Make sure your best man has something prepared in advance so that the toast flows smoothly and is complimentary to both the bride and groom. Remember that the toast is the first thing to set off your reception and if it is muddled it could set a bad tone for the rest of the evening.

Traditionally your Maid of honor is responsible for hosting your shower or bachelorette party. She is also expected to provide you with the “something old, something new, something borrowed something blue”. Many women don’t know about that tradition, so you may want to remind who ever you select if it is important to you. On the day of the wedding your Maid of honor should focus on keeping the bride calm and happy. She should also know how to bustle the bride’s gown after the ceremony if there is a train on the dress. It is common these days for the Maid of honor to give a toast to the bride and groom at the reception along with the Best Man.

Hi Cassie and thank you for visiting my site. Actually a florist would probably be better able to advise you, but I think daisy's would be great! They are very sturdy flowers and can also be died to any color you like. I am particularly fond of "Gerber" Daisy's which are a little larger and hold up better than standard Daisy's. Whatever you select I wish you all the best!

Hi Tiffany and thank you for visiting my site. Wow...there are so many special cool things you can do with a wedding on New Years! One thing that comes to mind is to have each member of the bridal party make a toast instead of just the best man, New Years is all about bringing in the new, and a new life together is a perfect example. You and your husband could also make a toast to each of them which would be special and fun. No matter what you decide it is a wonderful time to have a wedding and I'm sure they will all feel special by just being a part of it. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Cassie and thank you for visiting my site. It is perfectly fine to have your cousin walk down with another member of the Bridal party or with the children. I would suggest seeing what would make her the most comfortable and setting it up that way.

Hi Cassandra and thank you for visiting my site. The kiss and the lifting of the veil is a personal choice in the ceremony. Generally the father will give the bride a kiss, but it is most often the groom who lifts the veil before the bride and groom kiss for the first time. I would suggest setting this up however makes you the most comfortable as the rules are not set in stone. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Becky and thank you for visiting my site. Not only is this appropriate, but you are right, adorable :)

Hi Liz and thank you for visiting my site. I am not sure about other parts of the country, but here in Los Angeles Winter is very popular for weddings. Brides love to go with deep jewel tones and more formal events in the Winter. I work with lots of couples who theme their weddings around the season or the holidays as well. Christmas weddings and Valentines Day weddings are very popular. The only tip for weather I can think of is to remember to request coat racks or a coat check when you are planning your reception. Congratulations and good luck.

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. Having a host and/or hostess is up to you. If there is someone who really wants to be part of your wedding that is not included in the bridal party this would be a nice job for them. Usually the hostess will be in charge of the guest book, see to place cards and favors and greeting the guests as they arrive at the reception. They can also be made responsible to retrieve your personal items when the reception is over such as toasting goblets, cake knife and cake topper.

Hi Brianne and thank you for visiting my site. Generally you DJ or Band leader acts as the MC or Master of Ceremonies. They assist with the time line for the Grand Entrance, champagne toast, first dance, cake cutting and bouquet and garter toss. Once you have put a schedule together with timing and names of the bridal party along with any special personal things you want to make sure happen it should be gone over with your Master/Mistress of ceremony. Their duty is to insure that the schedule flows and assist with getting the guests to follow the schedule.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Your niece has a pretty common problem a lot of brides face when getting married. It's hard to give advice on such a personal matter, but I always tell my brides that for their weddings they should have things just as they want them and do what is going to make them feel most comfortable and happy on that special day. It sounds like your niece's stepfather has earned the honor of walking her down the aisle and this is also what would make her the most happy. I would suggest she write a letter to her biological father explaining that she is very pleased he will be at her wedding and hopes that he can understand that she wants the man she grew up with to stand beside her. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

Hello Renee and thank you for visiting my site. Maid of honor duties are traditionally the same for all ladies regardless of age. If there is a financial issue or some other problem with performing the duties of the maid of honor it is best to be up front with your cousin and let her know she might want to have you in the party, but select someone older for the maid of honor.

Hi Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. It is really up to the bride and groom who they want to stand up for them on their special day. It is a shame that there are hurt feelings, but I really don't think it would be appropriate to question the wishes of the bride and groom. Best of luck!

Hi Sandy and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like everyone involved is pretty reasonable and that this could be talked through with your daughter, ex husband and yourself. I do think your first sentence is very telling, that your daughter thinks she should sit up front. I always tell my brides that since it is their wedding they should make the decisions that will make them the most comfortable and happy. Of course you want to have the special "mother of the bride" honor of being seated in the front row alone, but with today's diversified families these traditions tend to fall by the wayside. If it is important to you daughter to have Dad's girlfriend up front I think you should just roll with it. Express your concerns, but if this is really what she wants then just let it go and have a great time!

Hello Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling anything other than ecstatic about your big day. Your concerns with you Mother-in-law to be are not at all uncommon. I have many clients come in with one or both sets of parents and no one sees eye to eye on anything. It is a huge deal that the parents are funding your wedding for the most part and for that you are very lucky. I know it is supposed to be all about you and your fiance's wishes, but sometimes it just does not work out that way. I only have two suggestions for you that may or may not help you. My first suggestion would be to focus on all of the things that are going to be just want you want and try to have the happiest most wonderful day of your life regardless of little snags or issues that may arise. My second suggestion would be to have a heartfelt talk with your fiance and let him know how unhappy this situation is making you and that you would really like to sit down with his mother and explain your feelings in a calm rational manner and see if she can be made to understand and allow you to have things as you want them. I wish you all the best and congratulations!

Hello Tracy and thank you for visiting my site. If your children are in the bridal party then they would stand up with the rest of your attendants, otherwise they are just seated in the row with your parents, siblings, etc...I think brides should wear whatever they are most comfortable in, so if you like white, go for it! Adult attendants generally pay for their own attire. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Catrina and thank you for visiting my site. If your fiance is close to his cousin but you are not close to the bride to be, then it is not at all unusual for half of a couple to be in the wedding party. It is not at all disrespectful to you as far as I am concerned. A wedding is all about the bride and groom, not the guests. Dancing is nothing that should interfere with a couples relationship, especially at an event such as a wedding, it's not the same as if he was out clubbing without you.

Hello Katherine and thank you for visiting my site. Many couples go through the same frustration that you are having with trying to please everyone. Of course all of the situations are different but my personal opinion is always the same. Since it is your wedding it should be as you want it to be. I know this is tough if the parents are paying for all or most of the wedding, but that is my opinion. The only thing I can suggest is to continue to let them know which things are very important to you to make the wedding of you and your fiance's dreams. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jackie and thank you for visiting my site. There really are no set gifts for wedding showers unless it is themed like for Kitchen items, lingerie or something specifically indicated on the invitation. Since you have already given her a lovely pre-wedding gift I think something small and thoughtful would be appropriate. Maybe a nice nightie or if she doesn't have one yet her garter or something else for the wedding itself.

Hello Leilani and thank you for visiting my site. I am sorry but I do not know what a "Medalion" ceremony is.

Hello Lauren and thank you for visiting my site. Your question does not have a "right or wrong" answer, so I can only give you my opinion. I think a couple should have their wedding be just what they want and not worry about what other people think. I would not suggest having someone you don't feel close to stand up for you under any circumstances. I also think it would be lovely to have your brother stand up for you in place of a maid of honor.

Hi Serena and thank you for visiting my site. I think a reading or something along those lines sounds very nice. Something else I have seen done numerous times is having certain individuals mentioned after the grand entrance or at some point during the toast. How fortunate you are to have so many girls you are so close to! Congratulations and good luck.

Hello Karen and thank you for visiting my site. Immediate family tradtionally refers to parents, siblings and spouses, and Grand parents. Cousins, Aunts and Uncles are not generally considered immediate family.

Hello Irene and thank you for visiting my site. In my opinion a bride should only have people in the bridal party that she feels the most love for. I don't agree that because someone is family they automatically should be asked to stand up for a bride.

Hello Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. I agree that it is completely inappropriate for you husband and his ex-wife to be in "family" photos together. I think it is perfectly within your rights as a wife and stepmother to insist this not take place at the wedding. Good luck and best wishes.

Hello Pamela and thank you for visiting my website. I agree it's not fair for you to change your dates again. You should tell your husband's cousin, while you would love him to participate the, date is set and invitations are printed. Good luck.

Hello Chell, and thank you for visiting my website. The young lady can be listed either as an additional flower girl or a junior bridesmaid.

Hello Laura and thank you for visiting my site. NO! Your sister-in-law has no obligation to invite someone who she is concerned may spoil her biggest day. If she wants to be extra courteous she could let her brother know why he is not being invited.

Hello Debbie and thank you for visiting my website. I have to say my feeling is you should not tell your stepdaughter who to have in her bridal party. Even siblings who grow up together with the same mom and dad don't always select one another to be in the bridal party. I think the couple should select the people they most want to stand up with them and not be pressured by traditional do's and don't's about weddings. I also would not ask your son to take pictures, if he wants to he will offer. I think you should just let her move forward with her plans and try to have a wonderful time at the event.

Hello Lorna and thank you for visiting my site. Babies at weddings can be a bit of a touchy subject. The majority of my brides do not want children at their weddings. I usually suggest they include something on the invitation like "This is an adult occassion" so the guests have no question if they should bring their small children. Some brides are just not comfortable putting this on the invite, so the safest thing would be to call the bride and ask her if she is planning on having kids at her wedding.

Hello Mandy and thank you for visiting my site. Congratulations on your vow renewal. As the bride you have the right to insist that your sister wear the right stuff or not be a part of the bridal party. It really depends on how important it is to you. I have to say it's pretty rude of her to be giving you a hard time, it's your day and it should be exactly as you want it. Regarding your rehearsal dinner...there is nothing wrong with having a pot-luck at your house. The only thing I disagree with is you having to ask your brides maids to bring dishes. This should be your Mother in law's responsibility since she is technically the host of the rehearsal dinner.

Hi Deb and thank you for visiting my site. It would make sense to include the rehearsal invitation with the wedding invitation to the out of town guests and both sets of parents should be listed as the host's if both sets are contributing to the cost of the rehearsal dinner.

Hi Chelsea and thank you for visiting my site. Not only is she asking too much, but that is just plain rude! We all need to work around our work schedules and everyone knows that. I would not worry about it if I were you since you did your best to find out the dates.

Hello Ashley and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like people are going to have to travel either way, so maybe you could plan a destination wedding to Las Vegas. Vegas has some very inexpensive venues and you can usually find good rates on air fare and lodging. Your guests could also make this their vacation. "Victoria's Chapel" puts together complete packages to include ceremony and reception for anywhere from 10-300 guests at a very reasonable price. Good luck!

Hi Trudy, and thank you for visiting my site. It does not sound like you are being over sensitive and I am wondering if you have voiced your concerns to the bride and groom? It seems like she should come from a place of understanding about this situation and if you talk to her it may be easily solved. I would guess she is trying to be polite and do the right thing and may not know how you feel about it. I think you should talk to her and your son together and since your son is not close to his stepmother they may actually be relieved. Good Luck!

Hello Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of drama surrounding what is the most special time of your life. This is truly a personal decision for you and your fiance, there is not set answer it would vary between individuals. Because of that the only thing I can offer you is my personal opinion. If it were me I would stick to my guns. When you get married your spouse becomes the most important person in your life and decisions have to be made that make him or her the most happy and comfortable. It seems to me that you made your wishes clear and that it is not your fault if friends and family choose to ignore your wishes. Good luck!

Hello Charlie and thank you for visiting my site. Your question is of a very personal nature, so all I have to offer is my personal opinion. I am of the strong belief that couples should only have those people at the wedding who they most want to be there. There should not be individuals who have the potential to cause drama on the most important day of their lives. For this reason my own mother was not present at my wedding. This is the most special day in the lives of these two people as a couple...any other family dramas can be handled later, or not....I would not risk the drama this situation could cause, but of course that is a personal decision.

Hello Shelley and thank you for visiting my site. Bottom line...the bride said you should wear whatever you like and that is the bottom line. She is not requesting colors or styles for the mother's, so pick something that makes you feel beautiful and comfortable!

Hello Brianna and thank you for visiting my site. Lot’s of my brides face this dilemma when they want to honor someone at their wedding who is no longer with us. A simple way to do this would be to have photographs of them perhaps at your placecard table with a brief note honoring their memory. You could also have your DJ or MC have a moment of prayer if that is appropriate within your religious beliefs. This is not morbid in any way and should not bring down the mood of your reception while at the same time allowing for everyone to remember loved ones who have passed.

Hello Marie and thank you for visiting my site. No that does not sound stupid and there are several things you can ask your friends to do to make them feel included. You could have them man the gift table and keep a signed log of the gifts, they could pass out favors if you plan to have table favors for your guests. The could assemble your placecard table and assist guests with finding their seats and you could assign them little extra duties like putting together your emergency repair kit for the day of the wedding or assisting with the shower or rehearsal dinner. There are always plenty of jobs to go around when planning a wedding. If you need more suggestions I would recommend you look at one of the planning lists available in most bridal magazines. Congratulations and Good Luck!

Hello Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. There is no specific timeline for selecting your attendants, it can be done at any time during your planning. It is customary for the maid of honor to assist the bride with planning and decisions, but it is really a personal decision for you to make. If you would rather do things on your own you are not required to include your maid of honor. Don't worry too much about who you pick to stand up with you, it is your wedding and should be your decision. The most important thing is to select those people who you most want to be there.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. My feeling is that the bride and groom should have exactly who they want stand up in the bridal party and that the family should respect that. Understandably it does not always work out that way...that being said there are many incidental duties that can be assigned to other friends and family members and an escort is a perfect example and is considered part of the bridal party. You can also assign people to man the escort card table, gift attendant etc...if you have more people who need to be considered. I hope it works out for you!

Hello Bob and thank you for visiting my site. I am sure your son wants both you and his mother to attend the very special event. This is not at all an unusual situation and my recommendation is that both you and his mother just make the best of it. There is no reason you have to spend time together at the wedding, but I think your son would be hurt if you did not go. My opinion is that the parents should set their personal feelings for each other aside for this day and just be there for the son. Good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Honestly my advise to you would be to stay out of this one. It sounds like there is a lot of potential for drama and hurt feelings. It is my personal opinion that it is not appropriate for the bride to assign duties for guests not included in the bridal party much less ask them to purchase a particular outfit for the event.

Hello Steve and thank you for visiting my site. Your email makes me sad and I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation. Your question is of a personal nature so I can only offer my opinion and not real advice. If I were you I would bring this up right away and let your daughter know how unhappy it is making you. She may well be so caught up in her plans and excitement that it never occurred to her this was causing a problem. If you explain it the way you did in your email it would be very selfish of her not to make an exception for your brother's son. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

Hello Viviane and thank you for visiting my site. I guess it depends on whether or not you older son's in laws are a part of your family and if you like them. If you son is requesting that you do that would be the nice thing to do, but if he's not it's really up to you. I don't think you are obligated to invite them unless it feel natural. Congratulations to you and your family!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my website. "Traditionally" the grooms parents are responsible for the rehearsal dinner and that's about it...way back when they also paid for the honeymoon, but that is no longer really something they are obligated too. Nowadays it really depends on the financial situation of the bride and groom and the relationship with parents. More and more couples are picking up the tab for the entire event. Whatever help you receive should be greatly appreciated. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Catherine and thank you for visiting my site. Yes it is absolutely appropriate for your escort to wear a tuxedo. Not only is the wedding a formal evening affair, but as the mother of the bride you are also very special and deserved to be escorted in style!

Hi Heidi and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest asking the bride if black would be appropriate. Everyone looks good in black and since the men are dressed in black it won't throw off her color scheme. Otherwise you might look for something that has a cream pattern or trim which could also work. Good luck!

Hi Lea and thank you for visiting my site. Well, since the bride indicated you could wear whatever shoes you like and you are wearing a long dress I don't see what difference it could make, however...brides are very sensitive and can become fussy closer to the wedding and if it doesn't put you out to much it would be nice to just make her happy. I understand your frustration but at the same time know that brides need a little special consideration for all of the aspects of their big day. Good luck and I'm sure you will lovely whatever you decide.

Hi Mary and thank you for visiting my site. Rule of thumb on destination weddings is everyone pays for themselves. The bride and groom often pay for the maid of honor and best man, but it actually goes along with the privilege of being asked to stand up for them to pay themselves. Have a wonderful time!

Hi Vicki and thank you for visiting my site. You have a pretty unusual situation and I am not certain as far as protocol who should pay. My gut says if it is the decision of the bride and groom to fly him in, it is an added expense that they should pay for. Good Luck!

Hi Lupita and thank you for visiting my site. My advice is to wear what makes you feel beautiful! It doesn't matter that you have been married before, people remarry all the time and have the whole white wedding gown and formal affair. It's your special day and you should feel gorgeous, happy and comfortable. Wear whatever you want!

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. If the bride is happy with your choice and your are comfortable with it I would say yes.

Hi Ann and thank you for visiting my site. I think everyone has a different idea of what formal means. If the bride wanted everyone to be in formal long dresses and suits or tuxes she should have probably indicated "Black tie" rather than formal. Formal leaves it open to interpretation. I guess I would suggest directly asking the bride if the outfits you were all planning to wear would be appropriate to her.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. The easiest way I know of to save money on cake costs is to have a family member or friend make it for you. Cake pricing is generally very competitive and if you want to cut costs the best way is "home made".

Hi Lissa and thank you for visiting my site. I am not sure what you mean by "sponsors". The only weddings I know of that have sponsors are Filipino weddings where close family and elders actually sponsor the couples wedding by tradition and custom. This is generally just done automatically through the family. If you are looking to have vendors sponsor your wedding such as florists, musicians etc...the only way I have ever heard of that happening is through contests. I would recommend attending as many bridal fairs as you can find and entering every type of drawing they have. Other than that I am not sure why anyone would just randomly sponsor a wedding for someone. I hope that helps and good luck!

Hi Cathy and thank you for visiting my site. This decision varies among families. It is nice if everyone can chip in, but it usually depends on the ability to come up with the money as well as how families get along. Traditionally it is up to the parents of the bride, so in that sense the Mother would also help with the expenses. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Ryan and thank you for visiting my site. Also congratulations on waiting until you were a "grown up" to make this huge step, I am personally a huge proponent of waiting until you are in your 30's to get married! Honestly your question is of a very personal nature and it really depends on what you and your fiance want to do. I was actually faced with a similar situation when I married a few years ago and made the decision to just move forward with what my husband and I could afford on our own. This way we had no stress regarding what family might want or might be able to contribute. As it turned out we had a beautiful wedding and extra money for the honeymoon after because the family did come through with some funds.

Hello Shauntay and thank you for visiting my site. There is no way I can answer your question because weddings can cost anywhere from $500.00 to $500,000.00 depending on what the two of you want. The only thing I can suggest is to put a budget together first of what you will be able to come up with one year from now and then see if you are able to pay for the things you want for your wedding within that budget.

Hello Cathy and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the rehersal dinner is for the bridal party, immediate family and family traveling from out of state who may have to come in early to be there for the wedding and have no where to go.

Hello Marta and thank you for visiting my website. Surprisingly a lot of families run in to these uncomfortable situations when wedding plans are happening. Since your step daughter did not run any of this by you it seems to me you have no obligation to contribute to the choices she and her in-laws to be have already made. I do think it would be a good idea to have a family meeting and ask her what her expectations from you and your husband are. This will give you an opportunity to let her know what you can and can not help with if anything. You can also let her know that since she and the others just went ahead and made the plans you assume they will be paying for it. The worst thing would be to just let things fester, it should all be out in the open and settled before your stepdaughter believes you will be paying for things you can not.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. This is a very personal family issue and my only advice would be for you and your husband to follow you hearts. If $4000.00 is too much to contribute, say so. It is not cool to tell family what they need to provide for your wedding. Your step-daughter should wait until the offer is made to help and be grateful for that. This is of course my personal opinion and nothing more.

Hi Wynn and thank you for visiting my site. A standard rule of thumb for wedding gifts is to to give the amount the couple is putting out for each guest. A nice wedding runs about $150.00 per person for dinner, drinks, favors etc...so since you are a single guest a gift of $150.00 would be appropriate. If you are bringing a date $300.00 is the correct amount. If you can afford more great, but this is the general standard by which amounts for gifts are calculated.

Hello Frances and thank you for visiting my site. Unless the bride and groom are gifting a special "parents album" or pictures for the parents, it is traditionally the responsibility of both sets of parents to pay for their own picture selections.

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Since this is not a technical question but more of a personal one, I can only offer my own opinion. There are no right or wrong answers for these situations, so you should just follow your heart. In my personal opinion, yes your step-daughter is too young and seems to be rushing in to this during what are very difficult times for everyone. Based on the economy and current issues I think five thousand dollars is very generous. Particularly to help with a wedding to someone you don't necessarily think it a great catch. Good luck to you!

Hi Bill and thank you for visiting my site. As the host of the rehearsal dinner it is your choice where it will be located. I would simply tell your son and his fiance, that the restaurant she would like is not an option and to please pick one of the ones you submitted. Good Luck!

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. There are a lot of ways to cut the cost of a wedding reception but generally mean changing the type of reception you wish to have dramatically. For example doing a less expensive lunch reception as opposed to a nice dinner. My suggestion would be to send out announcements so that everyone knows of the marriage and just keep the reception to the number of guests that make sense for the budget.

Like all things for your special day, any thing can be had for a price...most local florists get their flowers fresh from the flower mart and will try to sell you what is in season for the time of year of your wedding. This is the most cost effective way to purchase your flowers. However...if you have your heart set on a specific flower that may be out of season, florists ship overnight with excellent cooling systems from all over the world. Somewhere out there your special flowers are available and can be there for your wedding. Keep in mind they will be at a higher price.

Hi Arika and thank you for visiting my site. It is lovely that you are including your father in your wedding and there are many appropriate choices for the father daughter dance that may not be on the traditional recommended lists. I agree that you don't want one talking about childhood and the growing up years when you were not together at that time. A couple of suggestions would be to ask you dad if he maybe has a favorite song that he would like to dance to at your wedding. Another thing you could do is utilize the internet and search through song lists until you find one that you like and think would be appropriate. I wish you all the best and congratulations on your wedding!

Hello Kristal and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like perhaps a dark blue Gerber daisy or maybe an iris would match your color scheme and could make the matron of honors bouquet unique to the others. It would also be a good idea to get the recommendation of your florist.

Hi Sue and thank you for visiting my site. Every wedding is different these days as far as who pays for what, however old school tradition indicates the grooms side pays for bridal party flowers and family flowers. The brides side pays for the flowers and the church and reception site.

Dear Holli, Finances are probably the most problematic part of planning your wedding. It is very stressful for everyone to spend the kind of money a wedding takes these days. You should feel special that your fiancé wants all of his family to see him marry you. It is a special day for both of you and his feelings need to be considered. The two of you need to have some serious discussions about how to make this work. You do have 13 months to save up for it. I would suggest you sit down together and create a realistic budget and see where you can save. Chances are good that if your fiancé does not see these family members they will not come to the wedding. (It is also expensive to attend a wedding)…if you have saved and 50% end up not coming, think of how nice it will be to have that extra money for you honeymoon or your new life together when you return. Another option would be to limit the number of guests to fit in to the budget you have already created and split the number of guests 50/50. You will probably both have to cut your lists, but that would be a fair way to go if you don’t think you can save up the money. Congratulations and I wish you all the best!

Hi Sandra and thank you for visiting my site. I tend to agree with your mom that Horsdoeuvres are better for a mid afternoon reception. It is very easy to select enough items to make the selections constitute a full meal. Carving stations, pasta stations, and individual hot items will definitely fill up your guests. If your fiancé really wants a meal service I would recommend a "light" luncheon selection for that time of day. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Kristie and thank you for visiting my site. You are correct. The price you were quoted seems excessive to me. I know of several officiants who my brides use and the price ranges anywhere from $60.00 to $300.00 depending on how many appointments are involved. I would suggest searching the INTERNET and getting some additional quotes. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Dinner hour is generally between 5:30 pm and 8:pm. If you want to serve just cake I would recommend having your reception after 8:00 pm. It is also a good idea to indicate on the invitation that "cake and punch" will be served. This will trigger your guests to understand there will not be a dinner and they will eat prior to your party. The day is about you getting married, not what you eat so relax and enjoy!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. In all honesty I really don't think you need a coordinator for such a small party. I rarely recommend my brides hire coordinators since the staff at the facility should be able to help you in finding the vendors you need. My personal feeling is that coordinators are needed for very large events or when a bride is trying to plan a wedding from another state. The price you were quoted is not unusual, the coordinators are expensive. If I were you I would spend my $1200 shopping for my honeymoon! Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Becky and thank you for visiting my site. The wording of cocktail reception should be sufficient for your guests to know that dinner with not be served. The timing is perfect with a 7:00 pm ceremony as it will give people a chance to have an early dinner prior to going to your wedding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Laura and thank you for visiting my site. It is fine to serve cake, punch and coffee at a church reception. This is actually a more traditional way of doing things then the big dinner dance receptions people do now and will save you a ton of money! Congratulations and good luck.

Hi Millie and thank you for visiting my site. There really is no special type of food for a Friday night reception. My only thought is that due to the timing and rather late dinner hour you might consider simply doing heavy hors d'oeuvre instead of a full dinner. This way you could offer a wide variety of food selections and your guests would not have to wait until so late for dinner. It would also get you to the fun and dancing sooner. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Color questions are always kind of a personal preference kind of thing, but I personally think white and ivory make a nice contrast together. I say go with what you think looks good, there are no rules about color.

Hi Darla and thank you for visiting my site. While this may not be the type of reception you would choose, it sounds like your son and his wife to be are trying to have the style of reception that reflects them and what they like and there is nothing wrong with that. Since the reception is at the dinner hour the only requirement is that there is enough food for people to put a meal together and it sounds like there is. I would have to say you need to bite the bullet on this one and let them have what they want, I'm sure grandpa will be fine with a nice dish of pasta.

The best way to save money on the cost of your honeymoon is to try and get others to help you pay for it. When we recently got married my husband and I created our own honeymoon gift registry. You can see our example at RegistryPalace.com. Instead of being registered at department stores you can create the items you want for your trip and ask your guests to purchase them on your site. We were able to fund 90% of our wonderful cruise through gifts from friends and family. A couple of additional ways to save costs are to wait until just before you leave to book something. Lot's of travel packages are greatly reduced about a month before the trips. You can also book reduced rate vacations on ebay if you keep your eye on who needs to get rid of a trip they have decided not to take.

Hello Renee and thank you for visiting my site. It seems to me the best thing would be to talk with the bride and groom and see how they would feel about being away from a 3 month old baby. Either way it seems like a relatively close location for a few days of honeymoon would be best.

Hi Irene and thank you for visiting my site. Addressing your invitations is a matter of personal preference. There is not set right or wrong way to do so. Like everything in your wedding it should reflect your tastes and personality. If you have all kinds of time to hand pen your invites then great, if not there is nothing at all wrong with printed lables on your invitations. I have seen beautiful invitations with the clear lables and pretty fonts that look extremely nice and professional. Congratulations and best of luck to you!

Hi Bobbie and thank you for visiting my site. Congratulations and yes absolutely it is appropriate to have a reception after you return from your private ceremony in Mexico. This is actually pretty common for a number of reasons. Your invitations can read something like "Bobbie and ....would like you to join in the celebration of their marriage which took place on January 25th..." Hallmark and other shops where you can purchase invitations should have lots of examples for you to select from, or you can word and design your invitation yourselves. As far as the planning of your reception all of the normal traditional things are just fine to include in your special event. Good luck to you and have a great time!

Hi Stephanie, and thank you for visiting my site. Invitations can be printed very quickly and cost effectively at your local print shops like "Kinko's"...they have a few samples in the display books that can help you. They also have software that you can download on your computer and print lovely invitations yourself that can be personalized. 6 weeks is enough notice to give your guests, but for out of town guests you may want to make a phone call as well to let them know the invitation is on it's way. Congratulations to your daughter and have a wonderful celebration.

Hi Brenna and thank you for visiting my site. Save the date cards can be informal and even fun! Handwritten is just fine.

Hi Amy and thank you for visiting my site. There are lots of different opinions about how many guests will come versus how many are invited. Most of the time I recommend using 10% as a guideline. If you have many guests that have to come from out of town this number may increase. If you do not want your wedding to exceed 300 guests I would keep your list down to 330.

Hi Sue and thank you for visiting my site. The easiest and most cost effective way to have some guests invited to the reception only is to have a separate card made up for the ceremony only that can be included with the reception invitation for those closest to you. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Lori and thank you for visiting my site. My husband and I had the exact situation you are facing. We created a honeymoon registry for our guests to purchase things we would like to do on our honeymoon, of course this was cash and we could spend it as we chose to, but it really was intended to pay for the excursions and fun times we wanted to have. We put a line on the invitation to "visit our website at....and the registry was located on the site. If this sounds like something you might like to do you can create your own honeymoon registry at registry palace.com and the cash will come through pay pal. There are several sites available on the INTERNET that can assist you with this, but Registry Palace is free! Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Keri and thank you for visiting my site. The general wording you are looking for is: " Reception immediately following". You can find several variations of this if you look at invitations on the internet and might find something you like better. Ebay is a great place to find nice custom made invitations at great prices.

Hi Ahndrea and thank you for visiting my site. The appropriate time to send your invitations is 6 to 8 weeks prior to the wedding. If everyone is local 6 weeks is fine, but if you have guests who have to travel a long distance 8 weeks gives them time to plan and make arrangements. You should have your RSV P's due back to you at least one week prior as you will have to give your guaranteed guest counts at about that time. Congratulations!

Hi Cynthia and thank you for visiting my site. To my knowledge there is no set age for a child to receive their own invitation. My advise would be 16 or older.

Hi Tori and thank you for visiting my site. I would say you should allow some extra time for your invitations, perhaps 3 months rather than the traditional 6-8 weeks. Definitely spread the word in the meantime and let your friends and family know that their presence is their present :)

Hi Catrina and thank you for visiting my site. My personal feeling is that you should invite only those people you really want to be at your wedding. If you are feeling uncomfortable about not including this womans son, perhaps you should ask her if she would be okay with you only inviting her and her daughter. Most people know the limitations and expenses involved in planning a wedding and will be understanding.

Hi Lottie and thank you for visiting my site. If you want the invitations to be addressed to the letter as far as etiquette, you should always spell out the state and have a separate zip code line. Most people don't feel that this is all necessary, but if you want it to be by the book that would be the correct procedure.

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. I would say to just address the invitation to your mother to Mrs. John Doe...this will acknowledge your father, but it is still addressed to your mother. If you do not feel like this is enough you can always include a line in your program like "In memory of..."

Hi Theresa and thank you for visiting my site. Wedding invitations take 3-5 weeks to be printed and should be mailed out 4-8 weeks before your wedding. If you have many guests that have to travel, allow the 8 weeks so that they can make plans. If the majority of guests are local 4-6 weeks is adequate.

Hi Cathy Ann and thank you for visiting my site. I do not have any samples of invitations, but would suggest using the INTERNET. Search "Google" under wedding invitations and you will find numerous sites with examples. You can even order invitations on line at a much reduced cost. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Renee and thank you for visiting my site. There are many options for the wording of your post wedding celebration. Generally people use something like "Join us in celebration of our wedding held January 1, 2005 in Las Vegas" You can see lots of examples on websites for invitations or at stores that carry invitations.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Since you are sending your invitations out this weekend I am assuming they are already printed and you can't include a line indicating your wishes. Perhaps you could have a directional card imprinted to go with them to indicate that "The couple is not registered but will have a wishing well at the reception" or something along those lines. Word of mouth is also a good way to let people know what you want. Your guests will no doubt be talking prior to your wedding and you can make sure people know that you would prefer cash over gifts.

Hello Mo and thank you for visiting my site. Reception immediately following is the perfect way to word your invitation in this case. In addition to making an announcement at the church you could also print up some flyer's with maps/directions to be handed out by ushers at your ceremony. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Melissa and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate to send all invited guests a wedding invitation even if you have already verbally invited them. Wedding invitations are often kept as reminders or mementos and you would also not want to take the chance of making any of your guests feel slighted. Traditionally even parents and the bridal party are sent invitations.

Hi Geri and thank you for visiting my site. The wording on the invitation depends on what your expectation is. If you are thinking people would come to Jamaica and that is what you want you should use traditional wording for the invite. Generally destination weddings are for just a few people closest to the bride and groom. If that is the case then your invitation should read more like an announcement than an invitation. You can see tons of different examples of wording on the Internet for suggestions. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jane and thank you for visiting my site. I have always liked invitations that say "Together with our parents", but if your fiancé's step mother is not comfortable with that it is also appropriate to say "John Smith together with his wife Mary"...You can find tons of samples of wording at any Hallmark store or place that sells invitations. Perhaps you and your future mother in law could go out looking together and find something that suits both of you.

Hi Liz and thanks for visiting my site. The outside envelope should be addressed with the proper Mr. and Mrs. The inside envelope can say Aunt and Uncle.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate to put both names on the invitation and response card "Mr. Joe Smith and Ms. Mary Jones"

Hi Ellie and thank you for visiting my site. Most weddings are restricted to number of guests based on budget or other factors. I think the people most important to the bride and groom should be invited first regardless of family status. I also believe that weddings are very personal and input from Aunt's, Uncles, Cousins and even parents should be limited. No, I don't believe you were wrong not to invite this person, in fact you might want to reconsider if you have others you would rather have at your wedding then this huge extended family. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Natalie and thank you for visiting my site. As far as being "appropriate", The grooms full name should be indicated on the invitation, you could follow it with (Joey) and that would be fine. It is a way to honor the name his parents gave him by listing the full name. This is traditional, but I always recommend that you personalize your wedding and do things the way that make you most comfortable. If you both feel better using "Joey", then go for it!

Hi Krys and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest the bride and groom word the invitation in whatever way makes them most comfortable. The fact that it is her second marriage does not make a difference in the wording of the invitation. If the parents are paying for the majority of the wedding costs it is appropriate out of respect to use their names on the invitations. If the couple is paying for everything it should definitely be addressed from them.

Hi Tasha and thank you for visiting my site. There is no need for special wording because it is not your first wedding. I don't see anything in your question that would require you to have any wording other than a traditional invitation indicating place, time, etc...

Hi Daniella and thank you for visiting my site. There are a few ways to word the invitation to include only adults, the most common is to have a line on the bottom simply stating "This is an adult occassion". The store or person who does your invitations should be able to give you additional examples of wording. As far as people adding on guests, this is just plain rude! You will know how many are coming when you get the rsvp's, but aside from that there is really no way to tell. You can only assume they will understand it is for them as a couple without additional guests.

Hi Pam and thank you for visiting my site. Wedding announcements are an entirely different thing than actual invitations and can be sent out at any time prior to the wedding. They are designed to announce your engagement, so they should be sent before the actual event. You can see lots of different examples on line or at any shop that sells invitations. An announcement of your upcoming wedding does not mean that an invitation will follow. Congratulations and best wishes!

Hi Kelly and thank you for visiting my site. I think since you are such good friends with the bride you should sit down and talk to her about this. Let her know that your feelings are hurt and that you don't understand. She may have a good reason for not including the parents of her long time friends. It could be budget constraints or something else. My general philosophy with brides is that they are entitled to do whatever they want with their special day, but in this situation there is nothing wrong with you letting her know what your feelings are and allowing her to respond. Whatever her decision or reasons are, just try to be the good friend you have always been, let her enjoy her day and have a great time yourself!

Hello Beth, I don't think you did anything wrong or out of the ordinary for an organized bride. It is your wedding and you are entitled to have things go the way you want them to in an orderly fashion. When friends and family accept the invitation to be part of a bridal party the also accept the responsibilities that go along with that. It makes a lot of sense to give them direction as to what you want them to do. This will make your event go much more smoothly. I always try to encourage my brides to have very clear time lines as well as a clear schedule of duties for all of the attendants. In my opinion there is nothing overbearing in your requests. Congratulations and enjoy your special day!

Hi Natalie and thank you for visiting my site. If you have many guests traveling from out of town the response date should be one month prior. If your guests are all local two weeks is adequate.

Hi Leslie and thank you for visiting my site. Generally the woman's name appears first on the invitation. It is also still appropriate to say "Mr. and Mrs. Susan Brown request the honor of your presence..." even if a couple is divorced unless the woman has gone back to her maiden name. I would suggest looking at samples of wording on line and selecting something everyone is satisfied with.

Hello Jaylene and thank you for visiting my site. It actually helps your guests to know where you are registered and will save you dozens of phone calls asking you this question if you include the slips in your invitations. It is not considered at all tacky to do so.

Hi Sharon and thank you for visiting my site. I believe retired military are like retired Presidents and once a Colonel always addressed as Colonel.

Hi Brenda and thank you for visiting my site. If your friend and her boyfriend live together as a couple and are invited as a couple then one invitation with both names is appropriate. Such as: Miss Julie Brown and Mr. Joe Smith.

Hi Mary and thank you for visiting my site. Generally Step parents on not listed on the invitations. In the case of divorced parents both parents names are listed individually. This is not however carved in stone. If you are particularly close to a step parent and they are contributing to the wedding I see nothing wrong with including their name next to the person they are married to.

Hi Sue and thank you for visiting my site. Since your mom and stepfather are paying for the wedding it is traditional to have them only listed on the invitation. Your biological father is simply a guest and should not be listed on the invitation. If you decide to do a program listing your bridal party and special people, you could include him on that, otherwise I would just say don't worry about it. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Barbara and thank you for visiting my site. Either listing is fine, example "Mary Jones" or "Mrs. Mary Jones" it should be consistant with how the other names are listed.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Most couples have set up their bank accounts prior to the wedding. I think it is nicer to make the check our to Mr. and Mrs. The bank will take the check regardless, even if the bride has not taken her husbands name.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I would guess that family dynamics have a role in the Father of the Bride sending the email that he did. Every family goes through these issues during the planning of a wedding, it's just one of those things. If you think the bride should know what's going on, but don't want to get overly involved, perhaps you could forward the email to her and just say "wow! great news, we look forward to your big day!" This would inform her what has been done without involving you directly.

Hello Roxanne and thank you for visiting my site. "couples showers" are actually pretty common and can be set up in any way the person hosting the shower sees fit. When a couple is having a smaller wedding I think it is appropriate to invite additional freinds to the other wedding related events. Most people understand that weddings are expensive and very personal and it's not always possible to invite everyone you know.

Hello Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. Registry cards included in the invitation is fine and a good way to let guests know where the couple is registrered.

Hello Pat and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. The easiest way to indicate the event is formal is to have it printed at the bottom of the invitation. You can put several different things, but the most common are "Black Tie Affair" or "This is a formal occassion".

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I am a strong believer that the host of a wedding should only invite the guests they truly want to be there. There is no need to include "and guest" if this is not what you want.

Hi Elissa and thank you for visiting my site. Actually the parents names on the invitation do not indicate who is paying, they are listed because they are inviting people to join them in celebrating the wedding of their children. It is a showing of respect to the parents to list them on the invitation. A possible solution would be to print them with your own names. Good luck and Congratulations.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I think your Mother in Law would probably like to see the invitation as well as receive one. I would suggest including a note saying that she will be missed but you wanted her to have the invite as well as a message that the bride and groom are requesting no gifts at the wedding. This would just be a little white lie to keep her from trying to send something.

Hi Gail and Thank you for visiting my site. I have to be honest in telling you I have no idea what you should do in this situation. I guess if it were me I would let your daughter proceed how she want to and hope for the best. This is indeed an unusual question and challenge.

Hello Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. Announcing your marriage is entirely separate from a wedding invitation. Weddings have gotten so complex and expensive that it is very common for couples to have a smaller wedding to keep costs down. There is nothing wrong with announcing to all those you know that you are getting married regardless if they are acutally invited to the wedding.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I think co-hosting the shower is a great idea and it would also save both ladies some expense if they did it together. Most people know how expensive it is to put a wedding together and I'm sure if you sit down over lunch or coffee and explain that the budget dictates cutting back your list, your friend will understand. I do think you should have the conversation before the shower plans are finalized.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like there is not enough time to re-do the invitations, so I would suggest letting this one go.

Hello Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. Delivering invitations is fine, sounds like a nice personal touch!

Hello Joani and thank you for visiting my site. These situations are touchy. A simple solution would be to word the invitation with the Bride and Grooms names "together with their parents" invite you to attend....this will eliminate hurt feelings for anyone.

Hello Mae and thank you for visiting my site. Your response reply should be addressed the the sender of the invitation. Usually that is the bride or the parents of the bride.

Hi Nicole and thank you for visiting my site. There should be lot's of examples of different types of wording where you are purchasing your invitations. I would suggest going through their sample books and seeing if there is something you like. One example that works is: " Bob Smith and Mary Jones together with their parents invite you...." Congratulations and Good Luck!

Hello Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. My rule of thumb is that you should never invite anyone to your wedding unless you really want them there to celebrate your special day!

Hello Lauren and thank you for visiting my site. It is not the least bit rude to leave off children from your invitations, but I don’t think you have to say so much on the reception card. The most common and simple way to get this message across it to put “This is an adult occasion” at the bottom of the invitation. Good luck!

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. This is somewhat of a personal decision, but my “opinion” is the same for all weddings and that is that the family should only invite guests that they really want at their special event.

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. I have seen this type of family dynamic on several invitations. There are different ways it can be set up and the invitation specialist can give you many suggestions. Something along the lines of: Bob Jones together with his parents, Bill Jones, Mary Jones and Stepmother Mary Smith…this will acknowledge that all 3 are considered parents.

Hi Mary, Your wedding should be all about YOU and what you and your fiance would like to experience on your special day. If you are going to enjoy moving in to fast music sooner than what would be "traditional" that is entirely up to the two of you. Weddings have become so diverse and should reflect the two of you and your personalities. My advise to all the brides I work with is to do what is going to make you and your fiance happy and remember your day just as you hoped it would be.

Hello again...like you said, it's your day and you are right it should be just as you want it to be. Traditional weddings are wonderful if that is what suits you, but more and more couples are becoming super creative in planning their ceremonies and receptions. When I meet with couples I always encourage them to picture the dream wedding they have always wanted and to make their plans accordingly. Since so many things surrounding your big day are expensive it is always a good idea to jump on the ones that are not and that will make you happy. Your music will cost the same regardless of what you select, so have what is going to make you happy, feel good and mean something to the two of you.

Hi Terri and thank you for visiting my site. An alternate processional is something other than the traditional "Here comes the Bride" as the bridal party and bride enter the ceremony. Lot's of people have favorite or special pieces of music they would rather have and that is absolutely fine.

Hi Aubrey and thank you for visiting my site. You can use pretty much any music you like as you walk down the aisle as long as the church you are married in does not object to it. I have seen a huge variety of music used for services, anything from harpists to a live band performing as the bride enters. It is truly up to your personal preference. I would suggest looking on some of the music sites and the Internet if you don't already have something in mind. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Rita and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest going through some song lists on the Internet and finding a song about a special woman making her way through life or something that touches you personally but does not necessarily go into the relationship with your father. Perhaps something from the "Sinatra" era would be appropriate, easy to dance to but not getting to personal about the father/daughter relationship.

Hello Kristin and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I am sorry but I am not familiar with this song...I do think you should choose any song you want to walk down the aisle to if that helps at all.

There are several ways to cut the cost of the food for your reception. The time of day is a key factor in saving money. Lunch prices are generally about 1/3 less than dinner prices. If you plan an early afternoon ceremony you can get away with light hors d'oeuvres or even just cake and punch for your reception. If you have your heart set on a dinner for your reception, consider having your event on an "off" date. It is harder for vendors to book events on Sundays and Holidays, and most often they will give you a bit of a discount if you will select one of these days.

There are a lot of different options on how to have your guests seated for your wedding. The most simple for you would be to have “open seating” where everyone just seats themselves. If you like you can have a few reserved tables next to the head table for family members. Be sure to let those guests know ahead of time if they are to be seated at a reserved table. Because families are structured so diversely, sometimes it will not work to have open seating. You may not want a step parent to be seated with someone they may feel uncomfortable with or ex-spouses to be near each other. If this is the case then you can have tables numbered and provide place cards for your guests. This gives you the control of where everyone is seated. Your reception facility should be able to provide you with a diagram of tables with numbers and you would then be responsible for providing the place cards and making the seating assignments.

There are many ways to save money on your reception. If you are planning on serving a meal you can save a lot of money by having a luncheon as opposed to a dinner. You can save even more money by having your reception in the mid-afternoon and serving something like a “high tea” or light hors d’oeuvres. Many reception sites will offer discounts on what are referred to as off dates. If you can consider a Sunday or a holiday vendors may be willing to come down on the price for you. This applies to many vendors, not just your reception site. Ask your DJ and Florist if they offer discounts for less popular days as well. Another way to cut costs is to have your wedding out of town and keep your guest list down to a minimum. You can still send out announcements to let everyone know you are getting married, but you won’t need to invite them all to the wedding.

Hello and Thank you for visiting my site. There is nothing wrong with having a romantic wedding at an exotic location and then celebrating with friends and family once you return. Simply word your invitations something like “Join Valerie and John as they celebrate their union at a reception to honor them….” Keep in mind the most important thing is to have the wedding of your dreams and if that means just the two of you on the beach then that is what you should have. Your friends and family should be happy to have the opportunity to celebrate with you once you return. Congratulations and Good Luck!

The traditional responsibilities of Mistress/Master of Ceremonies are to make all of the major announcements from the “Grand Entrance” through the end of the reception. Some of the things to be announced during the evening are the Father-Daughter dance, Couples first dance, Toast, Cake Cutting, Bouquet and Garter Toss and Last Dance. To be honest there are really not enough announcements to split between 4 people. Perhaps you could consider having one or two of them make announcements and find other duties to include the others. Assisting with seating arrangements, passing of favors or giving additional toasts might be some things to consider.

Hi Catherine and thank you for visiting my site. Having the reception delayed is okay, and happens quite often. I have to be honest and tell you I do not reccomend this to my brides. What happens a lot of times when there is 2 or more hours between wedding and reception is that A) you lose guests from the wedding who simply go home because they do not want to wait around or B) you have guests who do not go to the ceremony at all and just show up for the reception. If you are fine with those two situations then there is no reason not to proceed as you have planned.

Hi Jay and thank you for visiting my site. Usually when a friend or family member is video taping guest remarks for a wedding the guests just start talking and giving well wishes to the bride and groom. The comments are generally kept short and don't go in to a lot of detail. Things like "Hi Michael and Mary, wishing you all the best, love you guys..." If you want to make the tape more elaborate I would suggest general questions such as: How long have you known the bride and groom? What is your relationship? What would you like to say to them on their special day? Things like that. Good luck to you and I'm sure it will be a great video!

Hi Christina, what a cute fun idea! I have seen themed tables for many events and it looks very nice. Usually people use the centerpieces, table favors and or linens to set the theme for each table. Some ideas that might work well for a wedding are hearts, doves, bells, cherubs or angels, rings, mini champagne bottles or champagne flutes, candles, individual tiny cakes, bows, ring pillows, lace, kissing dolphins, top hats, white slippers. I think you could get a lot of ideas by looking through bridal magazines and the ads in the back of them as well. Have fun decorating!

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. I would suggest you be honest with your Aunt and let her know you are uncomfortable with the children being in the room by themselves, and concerned that they will "crash" the reception. You have every right to express your concerns since you were very specific about not wanting children at your reception. One suggestion might be to have her contact the hotel concierge about a baby sitting service or if no concierge is available at the hotel, the front desk may be able to assist her. Otherwise the only thing you can really do is stress to her how unfair you think it would be to other guests if her children were to show up. Good Luck!

Hi Eliza and thank you for visiting my site. It is very sweet that you want to accommodate the children who will be attending your reception. If you are comfortable having a "bounce house" at your reception then there is not problem at all, it's your day and it would be a wonderful distraction for the children. If you would like to have something a little less intrusive I would suggest setting up an area on the patio with color books and crayons, puzzles and if possible a TV/VCR with a stack of Disney movies. This would keep the children occupied but a little less lively during your event. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Tiffany and thank you for visiting my site. It is just fine to theme your reception and not the ceremony itself. Most ceremonies are simple and traditional and do not incorporate a theme.

Hi Rebecca and thank you for visiting my site. I think it is great that your friends and family want to honor you with showers and more traditional gifts. There is nothing wrong with having the celebrations that go along with a marriage just because it is not your first. You might consider doing a registry on line to perhaps offset costs of the wedding or honeymoon if you do not wish to receive household items you probably have. Check out my sponsor at RegistryPalace.com for some examples. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Ahilani and thank you for visiting my site. You are going to need to look at halls or perhaps open park type areas to find what you want. Facilities that provide food and beverage are going to require a guaranteed guest count, there is no way around it. I would suggest contacting your local chamber of commerce or convention and visitors bureau and seeing if they can help you. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. You have a very common and tough situation. I strongly believe that you should have the wedding that you want regardless of who is paying for it. I would suggest making it known to your mother what your dream wedding would be like and if she can't go along then yes, try to go it on your own. You will always regret it if you have a wedding that does not make you happy. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jamie and thank you for visiting my site. You can find very inexpensive and cute paper place cards without holders and hallmark and wedding stores. I plan weddings every week and very seldom do any of my brides use the actual holders, just the place cards themselves. Many brides even make their own place cards on the computer at home.

Hi Jamie, I would suggest your local card stores, Hallmark carries lots of place cards. The other great place to shop for wedding items such as favors, cameras and things like that is on Ebay. I even ordered my wedding invitations on Ebay for about a fourth of the regular price. Good luck!

Hello Jamie, I am uncertain which poem you are referring to. The only suggestion I have is to look at several cameras until you find the ones you want. You could probably find a website for Kodak or one of the other camera company's and see a wide variety of what is offered.

Hi Debbie and thank you for visiting my site. The "Traditional" order of events is as follows: Grand Entrance (Parents, Bridal Party and Bride and Groom) are introduced in to room and seated. Then the toasts are given, dinner is served, standard 1 hour of dancing beginning with traditional father/daughter dance, bouquet and garter toss and then cake cutting. If you are planning to have a DJ or band they will generally put the schedule together for you and act as an MC for your event.

Hi Arlene and thank you for visiting my site. This is a tough situation...my personal feeling is that your wedding reception should be as you and your fiancé wish it to be without influence of family members. This is difficult when you are trying to make everyone happy. It is not at all rude to have an "adult occasion" reception as far as etiquette goes. Perhaps you could sit down with your fiancé's parents and explain the reasons you do not wish to have children or young people attend. Whatever you decide have a great trip and congratulations!

Hi Cassie and thank you for visiting my site. Weddings can be as formal or as informal as you wish...how about doing a "Renaissance" theme? You could still incorporate the princess part but keep it more informal.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. You are correct celebrations of marriages that happened a long time ago are very common. Many cultures marry quickly in civil services when they make the decision to spend there lives together and actually have the celebration or reception several years later. This is not at all uncommon and perfectly acceptable. You are simply inviting your Friends and family to celebrate special things in your lives at a more convenient time for you and your husband. Relax and enjoy your planning and your special day!

Hi Susan and thank you for visiting my site. There are the usual traditional things that generally take place at a reception even when there is no dancing scheduled. The cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss and traditional toasts will take up some time. Of course just having friends and family together to visit and catch up will be nice for the guests, but if you want to do something additional sometimes people do have entertainment at wedding receptions. Different cultures have dancers or other types of performers to entertain their guests. There are many event companies that can assist you in finding something that would be fun and appropriate for what you are wanting to do.

Hi Denise and thank you for visiting my site. This is a sensitive but not at all unusual situation. Most families in these times have multiple parents and potentially awkward situations regarding family issues. As far as the head table or "bridal table", it is generally the bridal party and not the family who is seated there. In most cases the family and very special guests are seated at reserved tables nearest the head table. It would be appropriate for you to be seated at a reserved table with your husband and Joe's biological mother to be seated at a separate reserved table with perhaps Aunts and Uncles or other close family. It is of course always the decision of the bride and groom how they want the family seated.

Hi Wendy and thank you for visiting my site. Wow! What a terrific idea...It makes so much sense. I would suggest having the reception on a different weekend than either of the ceremonies. The wording on the invitations should indicate the date of the reception and perhaps an additional line indicating "in conjunction with the reception of my sister/brother and his or her fiancé who will marry on 1/1/1" I might also be a good idea to have a separate simple invitation made for the reception for both couples to have the guests keep as a reminder. The reception itself could be just as any other traditional reception with the exception of having two head tables, two toasts from the best men etc...even the wedding cake could be combined if the couples agree on the style. Congratulations and good luck with your plans.

Hi Linda and thank you for visiting my site. It is actually very common for not only the bridal party but the families as well to be tied up with pictures directly after the ceremony. Depending on where you are having your reception you should have a Captain or banquet coordinator who will instruct your guest as to where to go for the "pre reception" period of time. If you are having the reception at a family members home or a venue that does not have any one in charge of the event, then you should assign someone to greet and direct guests until the bridal party arrives.

Hi Liz and thank you for visiting my site. If the families are not financially supporting your wedding and reception, they have no business trying to dictate the costs or type of reception you should have. You could be very cost effective by doing an early ceremony with the reception serving only punch and cake immediately following. My advice to all couples is to plan your reception for yourselves and not for others. Do what is going to make you happy and if you are paying for everything yourselves do what is within an reasonable financial budget for the two of you. The most important thing is that this is your day and you should feel nothing but happy and excited about starting your new life together.

Hi Amber and thank you for visiting my site. I think a wishing well for envelopes would be very appropriate in this situation. I doubt your mom and her fiancé would really expect gifts at all, especially since the reception is a surprise. I would just let your guests know that gifts are not expected but a card box will be available.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. If there are drinks being served at the reception I don't see anything wrong with the bride and groom enjoying a cocktail while visiting tables. I see this as more of a personal preference than a matter of proper or not proper and think it is up to the bride and groom.

Hi Cammy and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds to me like you have made all the right decisions and you are certainly entitled to have only those you want at your wedding. I think it is smart to have someone assigned to letting a guest know if there is not a seat for any unexpected children. My advise would be to ignore comments from people questioning your decisions and move forward with your plans. Try not to worry about any one who might be rude enough to rsvp and then not show up, you have already budgeted for them, so why spend time stressing over what might not happen. You should just try to relax and plan the wedding you and your fiance want and not be concerned with the opinion of others. It sounds like you are paying for your own reception, so the decisions are yours to make. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Mary and Thank you for visiting my site. I think your daughter should be able to dance with whomever she chooses on her special day. Weddings are very personalized these days and it is very common for people to alter some of the more traditional aspects. Perhaps you and your daughter have a special song that would work for you. I would suggest announcing your fiance by name only and not putting a "title" on it. Perhaps something like "and now the bride will be having a special dance with John Doe".

Hi Michelle, You can include your mothers in the ceremony in several different ways...I would suggest letting your officiant know this is what you want and have him or her explain the options to you. The unity candle is really designed to unite the bride and groom as one on your wedding day, but you could also use it as a ceremony to unite the families and include your mothers. One of my officiants does a beautiful rose ceremony where the groom gives your mother a rose and you give the grooms mother a rose as they are called up to the alter. It is very touching. Regarding the children it is appropriate fo them to have their own placecard whether they are sitting with their parents or seated at a childrens table.

Hello Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. It is not the least bit tacky to announce your mom's fiance at your reception. You are lucky they get along well and this should not cause any drama for anyone. I would suggest having the DJ or MC announce them into the room as "Michelle's mother ______ and her fiance ______. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Vicky and thank you for visiting my site. Lots of weddings have cash bars and it really just depends on your budget. Liquor is a very expensive aspect of a reception and most places will not allow you to bring your own. If you do choose to go with a cash bar I recommend you indicate it on the invitation in some manner. Something like "reception immediately to follow, cash bar". This gives your guests a heads up that they should have some money with them.

Hi Marlene and thank you for visiting my site. How nice that you want to put something together for your friend. It sounds like a fun casual affair, so as far as invitations something like "help us celebrate...." always works well. I think anything you want to do for a reception would be great. Your home, outdoors, whatever works well for you and within your budget. If you are going to keep the food light then it would be better to schedule the reception at a time other than and expected meal time. Noon or 6 pm would probably not work well as people will be expecting a lunch or dinner. It sounds like either an afternoon event or later in the evening after the dinner hour would be ideal.

Hello Shelley and thank you for visiting my site. There are several ways the invitation could be worded. Something like "Join us in celebration of our marriage and the birth of our new child". The easiest way to make people understand that gifts are not required is by noting "no gifts please" on the invitation. I would suggest looking at some invitation websites where you will find many examples of the verbiage for various invitations. Congratulations on both big events!

Hello Jenn and thank you for visiting my site. Any of the samples of guest placecards you have indicated would be appropriate. I think the one that flows the nicest is "Guest of Mr. John Smith, but any will work.

Hell Lindsey and thank you for visiting my site. I really can not think of a way to enjoy the Father/Daughter Dance under the circumstances. How about just having your father come on to the dance floor and saying a few words in place of the first dance? You could think of another way to symbolize the love between father and daughter...perhaps a poem reading or a slide show presentation? Whatever you decide, congratulations and good luck!

ummmm, yes this is rude...

Hi Tabatha and thank you for visiting my site. There are lot's of options other than having liquor at a reception. You could tray pass sparkling cider for your toast or have a punch fountain. You could also do some things to keep your guests busy instead of dancing after your meal. Sundae Bars and Chocolate Fountains with dipping goodies are always fun. You could also have an international coffee station set up where your guests could make their own flavored coffee drinks after dinner. As far as entertainment you could have a live singer do a short show or even a magician or comedian depending on what you and your fiance enjoy. There are lots of options and I have seen all of these things done at various weddings. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello Patti and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like you have a total of 4 hours of time on the boat. I would suggest using the maximum time you have available from 2pm-6pm with the boat. If you are 30 minutes away from the ceremony site, then the ceremony should probably begin around 12:30. Weddings always run a little late and you need to allow time for travel, parking etc...The guests can board at 2pm while the bridal party finishes up with pictures. Your Grand Entrance can be just before departure at 2:30 pm. It would be a good idea to get the traditional wedding things done right away so you have time for dancing, so you could do the Grand Entrance and go right in to the couples first dance, father daughter dance and toasts with dinner immediately following. This would have you done with dinner by 4pm with an hour to 90 minutes of dancing before you dock. You could do the cake cutting as you are docking and perhaps get plastic or to go containers so your guests can enjoy the cake after you are back on shore where you will do the bouquet and garter toss. The coordinator on the boat should also have some timeline suggestions for you, this is only one option. Have a wonderful event!

Hello Sharon and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. I think it might be nicer to send cards in the mail to the brides family. Something like "Share our Joy" or "Celebrate the Union", that way the family of the bride has the option to send or gift or not if they wish.

Hi Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. If your budget does not work for two receptions I think one half way is a good compromise. Most people are willing to travel at least some distance to attend the wedding of a loved one.

Hello Tanya and thank you for visiting my site. Many couples have large receptions after they marry and sometimes not until years later when they can afford a big lavish event. So it is really never too late to invite friends and family to celebrate your union. If you plan to host a traditional reception, then it should be caled a wedding reception and it is acceptable to register for gifts. The event is still to celebrate your marriage regardless that it is after the fact. Congratulations and take care.

Hi Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. Even weddings without food at the reception should always have an RSVP. There are a lot of reasons you will need an accurate guest count for your receptions, so yes definately ask for RSVP's.

Hello Traci and thank you for visiting my site. These are pretty young kids and I am sure they will be tired after the big day. I think it would be a great idea to have them participate in an hour or so of the reception and then be picked up by a babysitter so that the adults can enjoy the celebration. Congratulations and best of luck!

Hello Jason and thank you for visiting my site. Questions of morality are a very personal issue, so please understand my answer is from a personal point of view. I think it is perfectly fine to celebrate your union at any time. Many couples get married before they can afford to put on an elaborate wedding and reception and wish to do something bigger later down the road. My personal feeling is that this is fabulous. If the two of you want to throw a big reception to celebrate your love then I say go for it!

Hello Shelley and thank you for visiting my site. Anyone planning to attend the wedding should plan on paying their own travel and accomodations. These things would not be the responsibility of the Bride and Groom. I have to say it would be tacky to ask guests to pay for their own meal, it would be better to keep in simple and just serve cake and punch to keep expenses down than to ask guests to pay.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Your situation happens to a lot of couples who have to move to across country or to another country for work or personal reasons. It is not at all unusual to have a second celebration in your home country when the time is right. I have had some couples plan their second reception 5 years after they originally got married. It is fine to wear your gown again at this reception and to plan it just like a wedding reception for your friends and family at home. There are a few ways to address the invitation and no set rules. I think "celebration of our marriage" is a nice way to put it. An invitation printer would be able to give you many more options. Congratulations and Good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. All of the answered questions go in to the directory. Since this website is a hobby and I have a full time job as well, sometimes it takes me several weeks to get to the questions. Also, if a question is of a very personal nature I may not answer it because I feel uncomfortable. Since I am going through all of my questions today I hope you find yours.

Hello Jimmy and thank you for visiting my site. Weddings are all over the map these days and pretty much anything goes! Your plan sounds like a lovely evening. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello April and thank you for visiting my site. You can get lots and lots of ways to state that you do not want children at your wedding from the wedding invitation venus. My personal favorite is "This is an adult occassion" at the bottom of the invite, but there are many ways to indicate this. If it just turns out that you can not avoid having kids there, most venues will offer a kids meal at a much reduced rate.

Hello Maven and thank you for visiting my site. Too much drama for me :) I would suggest to anyone to just stay out of it!

Hi Cathy and thank you for visiting my site. As long as the invitations have not gone out with incorrect times, it should be allright. It is a long time between ceremony and reception which I would not recommend, but it shouldn't ruin the day. If invitations have already been sent they should honor the invitation time.

Hello…and thank you for visiting my site. Table visits from the bride and groom are very traditional. Usually what I do for my clients is have all courses served to the bride and groom at once. This way they finish while most guests are still on the first course and have plenty of time to stop by each table during the rest of the dinner service.

Hi Bill and thank you for visiting my site. It is absolutely fine to ask for cash as gifts instead of items for the household. I would suggest setting up a gift registry on line for people to use. Check out RegistryPalace.com to see how to set this up. There is a link on my home page.

Hi Domenica and thank you for visiting my site. I think the most important thing to do when planning your wedding is to consider what will make you and fiancé the most comfortable and happy on your special day. If it will make you feel any thing else I don't recommend doing it. You should be nothing other than happy and excited on your wedding day and stressing out over guests that you don't really want there is not a good idea. There is not reason to feel guilty over your decisions, this is your most special day!

Hi Kelly and thank you for visiting my site. If you respond no to a wedding it is not expected that you send a gift.

Hi Catherine and thank you for visiting my site. You are correct...your name should be included on the invitation and you should have a part in the planning and execution of the dinner if it is your wish to do so. With families being so diverse today there are lots of different approaches taken. It would also be appropriate to have the invitation read something like "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Ms. Mary Doe" cordially invite you. It does not really matter if you contribute financially or not, you should still be able to have input and be considered a host due to the fact you are a parent of the groom. I wish you luck and hope your son has a lovely wedding!

Hi Jennifer and thank you for visiting my site. There are actually a lot of ways to save money on your reception. My first suggestion would be to get married at a time of day where a meal is not traditionally served. You could get married at 2:00 in the afternoon and have a reception with dancing and such but only serve cake and punch...or you could have a later wedding say 8:00 in the evening and do the same thing. It is proper to indicate on your invitation that "cake and punch will be served", this way your guests know not to expect a meal. As far as having vendors sponsor your reception this is generally accomplished by entering a contest or something similar. It is not something that is readily available. You can find more information about bargains and special deals by attending local bridal fairs. My final suggestion is to create a wedding website which will allow your guests to make cash contributions in lieu of gifts. This is usually used for the honeymoon but can easily be used to pay for reception expenses as well. Check out my sponsor "Registry Palace" for examples. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Jodi and thank you for visiting my site. Rule of thumb for thank you's is 3 months.

Hi Margaret and thank you for visiting my site. Favors are really a personal choice item and not necessary for your reception. The reality is that favors are usually kind of cheesy and people either forget them or just throw them away after the fact. I would not spend a moment worrying over it if you choose not to have them.

Hi Tabatha and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate to send the bridal party invitations as they are also guests at your wedding. It is generally not necessary to include a child's name on the invitation. Your guest will indicate if they are bringing their children on the RSVP card under how many will be attending. If you wish it is also appropriate to indicate Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and family, but this truly leaves you open to uninvited guests.

Hi Cindy and thank you for visiting my site. I can not see any reason at all why printing a telephone number would be in poor taste, particularly in a bulletin.

Hi Karen and thank you for visiting my site. If your daughters wedding is canceled altogether...the gifts should be returned. If it has only been postponed until a later date, she is entitled to keep the gifts.

Hi Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. Cash is a gift and should be referred to as such. "Thank you for your thoughtful gift" is an acceptable way to phrase it.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. You can see examples of wedding announcements on lots of sites on the Internet or stores that sell announcements and invitations. It is very common to send out announcements including registry information when you are planning a destination wedding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Leon and thank you for visiting my site. This is really a personal decision for the bride and groom. Many couples can not afford to have a wedding large enough to invite all of their Friends, but still want to include them in pre-wedding activities. I tend to agree with your son but it is not uncommon for showers to include guests that are not invited to the wedding.

Hi Tillie and thank you for visiting my site. It is appropriate to send a Thank you when you receive the gift.

Hi Hayley and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the wedding is held in the town where the bride grew up. Since it is also the responsibility of the brides family to finance the wedding this seems only right. Your father is correct.

Hi Susan and thank you for visiting my site. Save the date cards are generally sent out about 6 months in advance of the wedding. The maps and hotel information usually go out with the invitations but can be included in an announcement or save the date card as well. Any information you plan to send should be sent to all guests, not just the out of towner's. For different options for the wording you can check at Hallmark or other stores that carry invitations. There are also several websites on the Internet that can show you examples.

Hello Ron and thank you for visiting my site. The items you listed as things the grooms family should pay for are very traditional old customs. You are correct technically. As far as how things happen most often the last twenty years, this is not generally the way it breaks down. The groom, or bride and groom usually take care of the rings, attendant gifts, license and honeymoon themselves. I honestly seldom see couples who have parents willing to pay for the entire wedding anymore. Usually each set of parents will set an amount they are able to contribute to help with the plans. It is very nice that as the brides parents you a willing to sport for the entire bill, but this is just not that common anymore. If asked from a grooms parent what they were responsible for I would say the "rehearsal dinner", and I apologize if this has caused an issue with your future family. Keep in mind websites offering advice come from real people with opinions and are not always the only answer.

Hi Michelle and thank you for visiting my site. The duties of the wedding coordinator vary based on what the bride wants from them and what you are willing to pay. You can have a coordinator for "day of" duties only which would entail coordination of your rehearsal and ceremony only, or you could go as far as having a coordinator basically plan your entire event. If you choose to have a full blown wedding coordinator they will assist you in finding a site for both the ceremony and reception, set up meetings with vendors for flowers, music, decor, gown selection etc...and schedule all aspects of your big day. Wedding coordinators all work a little differently based on personality and the needs and wishes of the bride.

Hi Chris and thank you for visiting my site. I guess this could be a little touchy...have you asked the bride what she thinks? People throw showers for brides even when the couple is doing a courthouse wedding without guests, so I feel it is appropriate to invite the cousins and relatives.

Hi Alexis and thank you for visiting my site. It is actually customary to mail all of the bridal party invitations, as well as parents and siblings.

Hi Virginia and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the bridal shower is for female freinds and family of the bride. I am not sure why the groom would be asked to attend unless it was specifically a co-ed bridal shower/party for all of their friends. Perhaps the bride just wants him to share in all aspects of the wedding? In answer to your question, no...the groom should not have to attend.

Hi Mona and thank you for visiting my site. As far as I know grandparents are not traditionally "responsible" to pay for any part of the wedding or reception. It is however very sweet and kind that they want to. Weddings are so expensive these days it is not at all uncommon for many close family members to contribute. I would suggest asking them what they would like to contribute and letting them have the pleasure of participating. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I would say this close to the wedding if the bride an her mother are changing all the flowers any additional expense should be covered by them. As far as toasts and pictures with step parents, it should really be up to family how they want to do that. Families are so diverse these days that I see all types of situations regarding pictures, toasts, etc...I am sure your son would want his step father to give a toast and be in the pictures and it would be appropriate to have his father give a toast as well. As far as your ex's girlfriend being in photos, I really think that is a personal decision. Do they want pictures of her in the wedding?

It is traditional to feed the wedding vendors who will be around for most or all of your wedding day. These vendors include your photographer and DJ and sometimes the florist and officiate. Any vendor who will be spending more than 4 hours with you and your guests should have something to eat. If you are spending a lot of money per person on food you can always arrange for a separate less expensive meal to feed your vendors. This can be arranged with your caterer and you just need to let your vendors know where and when they will have the opportunity to get something to eat.

When you are ready to select a photographer make sure you have an idea of what you want your pictures to be like. Do you want black and whites, natural looking and candid shots or more traditional wedding pictures? Spend some time talking with the photographers and make sure you are comfortable with this person. You will be spending a lot of time with them on a day when you are much more nervous than usual, so don’t select someone who gets on your nerves in any way. Photographers have a tendency to try and manipulate the timing on your wedding day, so be sure they understand that you have a schedule you want to keep to. Lastly, pricing varies a great deal with photographers, so be sure and check out several.

When looking for a DJ I recommend that you visit several before making your decision. There are many types of DJ’s and this is one of the vendors that the personality really matters. It is important that you like and are comfortable with this person. Make sure that they are listening to what you want for your music and not going off with their own ideas of what would make a fun party. Prepare of list of special songs ahead of time to make sure they can acquire them for you. Traditionally your DJ will act as kind of an MC for your reception, so you want this person to be charismatic and have a good sense of humor. DJ’s also vary a great deal in price structure, so check a few out before making a decision.

When looking for the people to help you with your special day, always see 2 or 3 of each before making a decision. I have found that couples who are comfortable with the people they have hired and like them are usually happier with the results. Sometimes you may have a vendor who was referred to you or perhaps a family friend...but make sure the people you hire are accommodating to your needs and what you want for your wedding. So often the pressure from family or friends or other outside influences leads couples to make selections that are not really right for them. It is most important that you are comfortable and happy with your decisions so that you can relax and feel confident on your big day.

Tipping is a very personal issue. It is customary and polite to tip certain vendors when they do a good job. Your reception Captains and servers are automatically tipped when you are charged a service charge, but if they are exceptional it is always nice to give your Captain an extra gratuity. Vendors such as your florist, photographer, and baker are not traditionally tipped. Your limo driver and DJ should always be given a tip, somewhere between $50.00 and $100.00 is standard depending on the size of your group and the number of hours they provide service for you. There is nothing wrong with asking a vendor what normal tipping standards are if you are unsure of what to do.

Oh dear...this is a touchy subject! Wedding coordinators can be any thing from wonderful to totally useless. Think about how much time and energy you have to put in to your wedding and if you want to be very hands on through the process. Wedding coordinators are generally for people who have no time and don't want to make all the decisions. Most locations for your wedding and reception have built in staff to help you with most of the essential functions of your big day. Catering facilities, hotels and other reception sites will generally have a large list of vendors that they can refer you to for everything you need. If you have an unlimited budget and really want an experts advice and assistance I would say a wedding coordinator is for you...otherwise use the people you are already paying to advise you and help you with your plans. Weddings are a relatively small industry and we all know someone who does whatever it is you may desire for your big day.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. The correct way to address the invitation is to: Pastor and Mrs. (last name). It is also appropriate to give your pastor a verbal invitation to join you at the reception since he will be performing the ceremony.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. Not being from the area I do not have any direct referrals for the Hamptons…my suggestion would be to use “Google” on the internet and type in wedding ceremony near water in the Hamptons…any sites that offer these features will be pulled up and give you additional information. You could also try contacting the chamber of commerce in the area who could give you a listing of facilities that hold weddings. Congratulations and good luck!

Wow! I have to agree with you that setting a date 5 weeks after yours is very inconsiderate. This is really a very personal matter, but since you asked for my opinioin I will share it with you. I would suggest having a family meeting with your fiance's parents, the two of you and his sister and her fiance. You concerns are quite valid and should be addressed. Not only will many out of town guests be forced in to making a choice due to financial restraints, but quite possibly local guests will not be able to afford both. The strongest argument in your favor is that you have been engaged for two years and the two of them just became engaged. If they have their hearts set on a July date,then they should wait until July of the following year. Two family weddings within weeks of each other is bound to cause emotional and financial stress on everyone. This is not the environment you want surrounding your wedding and your sister in law to be should think about that for herself as well. I agree with you whole heartedly that this is not a nice thing for them to do. I hope you are able to resolve the situation and have a wonderful wedding to look forward to. Good Luck!

Hello Janey and thank you for visiting my site. Yes I think it would be inappropriate to invite people to a wedding and then indicate they need not physically be there. A better approach may be to send announcements rather than invitations to those who are too far away or that it may cause a hardship on to try and make it to your wedding. The most important thing is that you and your fiancé plan the wedding that is going to make you happy and not one that obligates you to things you do not really want to do. Your friends and family will be happy for your regardless of whether or not you spend a fortune on a big elaborate affair. I suggest you keep it to a size you are both comfortable with and just ask the others for their well wishes. Congratulations and best of luck!

Hi Catherine and thank you for visiting my site. The only vendors you need to serve at your reception are the ones who actually provide a service at the reception. For example the florist and baker need not be invited since their work is complete before the reception begins. Vendors like the DJ and coordinator should get an invitation, but you do not need to include a guest or their families unless they are personal friends and you wish to do so. It is also perfectly acceptable to serve the vendors a different less expensive meal during a time when they may take a break at the reception. Lot's of times brides will order a separate sandwich display for the band members instead of having them eat with the guests. It is really a matter of personal preference on your part, but you are not obligated to your vendors, they are there to provide a service for you that you are paying for.

Hi Monique and thank you for visiting my site. While there is nothing wrong with planning your own Pre wedding events, it would be really nice to have someone help you with these. Perhaps you and your fiancé could throw your own engagement party and then speak to family or friends about assisting you with your shower and bachelorette party. If you are planning on having a Maid of Honor, these duties would fall to her. I am sure your friends and family would be more than willing to assist in the planning and may just require some financial assistance from you. Good luck and congratulations!

Hi Mike and thank you for visiting my site. Traditionally the engagement ring is the one that holds the diamond and the more expensive of the two. It is given when you propose and the band is added later on your actual wedding day. On the wedding day the bride should place her engagement ring on her right hand until after the wedding band is put on. The wedding band should be closest to the heart according to tradition, which is why is goes first. These are very old traditions and many couples choose to modify them. It is also acceptable to only use one ring for both engagement and wedding ceremony. It generally depends on the brides style preference. I hope this helps and congratulations!

Hi Jamie and thank you for visiting my site. As far as I know a licensed officiant can perform marriages anywhere. Congratulations and good luck!

There are many venues that can save you money on your gown. Keep in mind you will probably never wear your dress again after your big day, so do you really need to keep it? Some of the places to get great prices on a gown are thrift stores, ebay or bridal outlet stores. You can also take a picture of a very expensive gown from a magazine to your dry cleaner and most likely get a referral of someone who can make the dress for far less than the magazine price. Wedding gowns are also available for rental and will be fitted to your exact body shape for a small additional cost. Your gown is one of the most important aspects of your wedding and you want to feel perfect! Look around until you find just what you want and then do the research to get the best price.

Of course! This is a big day for the groom as well, and he should stand out from his groomsmen. The most traditional way to off set the groom is to have him in white and the groomsmen in black. A couple of more modern ways to have the groom look different than his guys is to give him a different neck piece...perhaps an ascot instead of the traditional bow tie. You could also consider having the groom wear a colorful vest or tie and cumber bun. Just like the bride the most important thing is for the groom to feel comfortable and like he looks great.

Your makeup on your wedding day is a critical aspect of your whole “look”. Take pictures from magazines with you to cosmetic counters when they are doing free makeovers and see how these looks work for you. I recommend hiring a professional makeup artist. Once you have decided on the type of look you want, have a practice session with them and your hairdresser. Have someone take a picture when you are finished. This is a day when you want to feel like you look your absolute best, so take the time and spend the money to make it happen.

Generally people know to dress up for a wedding, particularly if it is an evening event. If you have friends or family that you are concerned may not dress appropriately, there is nothing wrong with specifying attire on your invitation. This can be done by adding a line towards the bottom of the invitation to say, “This is a formal occasion” or something along those lines. Sometimes people will have a more casual reception on the beach or out of doors. It is a good idea to specify that “beach wear” or “casual attire” would be appropriate for such a venue.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. My only concern about the dress would be that October 30th in Philadelphia may be very cool. Be sure the wedding and reception are an indoor venue and that you will not be spending a lot of time outdoors. If that is the case, turquoise is a perfectly appropriate color for October, particularly for a guest of the wedding. The only other consideration is if your step daughter has asked you to wear one of her “colors” as a mother of the bride figure. You may want to ask her if she has a preference as to what you wear. Traditionally the mother’s of both the bride and groom are dressed in the wedding accent colors.

Hello Rosie, and thank you for visiting my site. There really are no set colors for a summer wedding. You should pick colors that you like and that make you happy. Traditionally brides will select lighter cooler colors for summer weddings, but jewel tones work nicely as well. It also depends on what time of day your reception is. Normally I would suggest staying away from black or very dark colors, but if you are having a formal evening wedding even dark colors are acceptable.

Hi Kristen and thank you for visiting my site. I think the perfect answer for you is to order your invitations online on ebay. You can design them yourself or the seller will assist you and they have some of the best prices I have seen. I personally ordered almost all of my wedding accessories including my invitations on ebay and had great luck with all aspects of the transactions. Congratulations to you and good luck!

Hi Deborah and thank you for visiting my site. My husband and I had the exact same situation which is why he created my sponsor "Registry Palace" for us. Check it out on my home page and see what you think. Using an on line registry paid for our honeymoon in full as well as some additional wedding expenses. We put a line on the directions to the reception saying "visit our website at Registry Palace.com". You could also include it on the invitation if you are not using a directional card. The other way to get the information to your guests is by simple word of mouth. People we ask you where you are registered and you can direct them. There are lots of sites that can help you with this as it has become fairly common practice. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Murlene and thank you for visiting my site. Anything in the blue family would go very nice with Periwinkle. It is also appropriate for the mother of the bride to wear off white if that suits you better or even black if your step daughter does not object to it. Black is formal and generally appropriate and everyone looks good in it! Whatever you decide have a great time!

Hi Tammy and thank you for visiting my site. YES! It is appropriate for you to do whatever makes you happy. Many people have receptions after the fact to celebrate with loved ones in different parts of the country or for a variety of reasons. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Leslie, Congratulations! and thank you for visiting my site. There are varying opinions on the wearing of white for a second marriage, but my personal belief is do whatever you want and what will make you happy. It is your wedding and should be exactly as you dream it. I would suggest wearing the color that you feel the best and prettiest in. Look through bridal magazines and you will be amazed at the varying colors and styles that brides choose, truly the sky is the limit. If you have always wanted a traditional white gown, then my advice is to go for it!

Hi Kimberly and thank you for visiting my site. It is perfectly fine to change during the reception. You should probably wait until you get all of your picture shots in your gown. After the bouquet and garter toss and the cake cutting. Have a wonderful wedding!

Hi Brandi and thank you for visiting my site. Your gown sounds absolutely beautiful and should be fine for a June wedding. My feeling is that all brides should wear what makes them feel the most lovely on their special day. I really don't buy in to certain colors for certain seasons etc...do what makes you feel pretty and special and you will enjoy your day more! Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Gail and thank you for visiting my site. For a beach wedding you have a lot of flexibility as far as attire...anything from a simple white sun dress to bathing suits would be appropriate. Many brides still choose a wedding dress for beach weddings, so basically the sky is the limit. I would suggest wearing whatever you are comfortable in and that makes you feel beautiful on your special day!

Hi Bethann and thank you for visiting my site. Unless you want the grooms father to be dressed in a specific manner you should leave the decision up to him. He should wear whatever he is comfortable in. A nice black suit would be very appropriate but if he would like to wear a tuxedo there is nothing wrong with that either.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. I apologize for the delay in my response but my site has been having some trouble. I understand this is your only brother and that it could be hurtful for you not to be included in the wedding party. The thing to keep in mind is that the female attendants are traditionally the brides siblings and very closest friends. I am certain it is not an intentional over site, but since you are female there is not really a role for you unless you are very close to the bride. My suggestion would be to be happy that you are involved and for your brother and have a wonderful time on their special day.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. It is customary for the mother of the bride to wear the wedding colors. It will probably be quite warm so I would suggest something like a red summer suit or maybe of more formal red and black sun dress type outfit. It also depends on the venue. If the wedding is outdoors definitely opt for a sun dress or cocktail type dress in one or a mixture of both of her colors. Enjoy!

Hi Cheryl and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds to me like your outfit is lovely and quite appropriate. It is actually customary for both the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to wear the wedding colors. If you have concerns about what the bride would like you to wear, perhaps it would just be easiest to ask her if she would be happy with your selection?

Hi Heather and thank you for visiting my site. Great idea!!! I too am of the mind that it is insane to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for a dress you will wear once. Gown Rentals are a great way to go and another option would be consignment shops or on line used gowns. Many used gowns can be purchased for as little as a shop will rent on for you. You should be able to find a gorgeous dress for a fraction of the cost by shopping this way. Let someone else shell out the huge bucks for your perfect dress!

Hi Lisa and thank you for visiting my site. Keeping your dress in a cleaners bag until your wedding should be just fine and a steamer works well on most fabrics. My only hesitation would be if the dress is a very thin silk material. I have seen steamers leave stains on this type of material. I would suggest taking the dress to any cleaners and asking them if the fabric is alright to steam. If not you could always use the old hot running shower method which actually works pretty well. Wrinkles will fall out in about 30 minutes in a bathroom filled with hot steam from a running shower. Congratulations and good luck!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. A renewal of your vows can be anything from a quiet simple ceremony to a full blown second wedding. Depending on what you are doing for your ceremony and reception you can wear whatever you like and feel comfortable in. If you are having a large event a formal wedding gown is appropriate. If you do not want to wear a wedding dress, there are beautiful suits for brides that would also work for you. This is your special day and you should choose something that makes you feel beautiful. Congratulations!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like a pretty sun dress or a cocktail dress would be appropriate for the wedding you are attending depending on how dressed up you want to be, and short would be fine. I don't think it is rude at all to ask if you may bring a friend. Perhaps you could offer to stay in a near by hotel in case the space is limited at their home. I am sure they will let you know what would work out best for everyone, and it is definitely not rude to ask. Have a great time!

Hi Marie and thank you for visiting my site. It sounds like a cocktail dress would be perfect for your brothers wedding, but if you are uncertain the best thing would be to ask his bride to be.

Hi Cathryn and thank you for visiting my site. Since you are the mother of the bride you are entitled to be a little different if you choose to do so. It is very sweet of you to be so very accommodating and my recommendation would be to choose the dress that you feel the most flattered and pretty in. Your daughter would want this for you. Congratulations and have a wonderful time!

Hi Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. It seems to me that if your dress has been changed and now requires alterations, it should be up to the bride to pay for them. It does not seem reasonable to ask you to pay for a change you did not create. Good Luck!

Hello Renee and thank you for visiting my site. It is traditional for moms or "step moms" to wear one of the colors in the wedding. I would think a nice sun dress or lightweight pantsuit would be appropriate for a June outdoor wedding. A little dressy but not too much since the wedding is in a park. It is also appropriate to ask the bride if she has a color preference for you to wear.

Hi Audrey and thank you for visiting my site. It is really up to the bride and groom and the overall attire for the wedding as to what the father of the groom should wear. If your wedding is "black tie" or after 5 attire then it would make sense for the grooms dad to wear a tux as well. If it is a more casual wedding then it would be alright for his dad to wear a suit if he is more comfortable.

Hello Meagan and thank you for visiting my site. There is no set standard for dress for the boyfriend of your mother. If you are having an evening "black tie" wedding it would make sense for him to wear a tuxedo, otherwise the suit would be fine. I would suggest having him wear what he would be most comfortable in.

Anything she wants! Hi Sarah and thank you for visiting my site. I am a true believer that couples should plan their weddings exactly as they want them to be whether they have been married before or not. If you look great in white and want to wear white, I say go for it. The most important thing is that you feel beautiful and comfortable in whatever you choose to wear on your special day. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Elaine and thank you for visiting my site. Congratulations on your new relationship. Very simply, my personal feeling is that 44 year old women can do whatever they want! I would suggest finding a dress that makes you feel gorgeous and wonderful and who cares what color it is if you love it...Keeping your last name or changing to hyphenated name is very common these days for numerous reasons.

Hello Johanna and thank you for visiting my site. Your wedding sounds like it is going to be lovely! Tea length is appropriate for a day time wedding, however if your wedding is very formal it is also appropriate to go with floor length. The time of day does not really dictate the dress, it's more the location and how formal the event is. It sounds like you could really go either way, so I would select the length of dress that you like better and the type of suit or tuxedo that you would like to see the guys in. You can do gorgeous fall flowers in yellows, oranges and deep reds or jewel tones that will compliment the chocolate brown. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Liz and thank you for visiting my site. Your suit sounds lovely and like it will be perfect for the day. I think your husband should wear what he would be most comfortable in, perhaps just simple black slacks and a button down shirt. It sounds like this is the type of wedding that you will see everyone wearing different types of clothing, so go with what makes you and your husband feel comfortable and that make you feel like you look great!

Hi Dee and thank you for visiting my site. Black is always appropriate for after 6. Tea length is a good choice with the weather still being warm in Arizona in early October. Have a great time!

Hello Tammy and thank you for visiting my site. The outfit you selected sounds just fine for a morning wedding. It's cold in November back east, so dark winter colors are perfectly acceptable.

Hi Matthew and thank you for visiting my site. I would say do what you want! If you are comfortable wearing a bridesmaid dress and this is what the bride wants as well, then go fo it.

Hello Anna and thank you for visiting my site....I would so stick with black!

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. If the wedding is in the evening you can't go wrong with black. We all look good in it and it is the most flattering color figure wise. If it is a daytime wedding perhaps something in navy. Darker colors are more figure flattering and also warmer since it is most definately cold in New York in November.

Hi Becky and thank you for visiting my site. These are all great colors for a winter wedding and lucky you, everyone looks good in these darker shades! Depending on what you are most comfortable in and how formal the wedding is your options are unlimited. If it is more on the casual side a great pant suit is always practical because it can be worn often. If it is a more formal wedding than perhaps a gown that can also work for any holiday parties you have coming up.

Hello Maxine and thank you for visiting my site. Formal is "in the eyes of the beholder" Trends and Fashions for formal have changed so much over the past few years that everyone has a different opinion on what is "dressed up" and what is casual. There are very formal pant suits for ladies as well as tea length or cocktail dresses that are considered very dressy but not gowns. I would suggest wearing something you are comfortable in and that makes you feel like you look great! If this means wearing a gown, then by all means wear a gown. Also, a great rule of thumb is when in doubt always refer to the bride...ask her what she would like you to wear.

Hello Denise and thank you for visiting my site. The father can wear the same attire as the bridal party, but it is not traditionally mandatory. Lot's of fathers wear a different tuxedo or even a very nice dark suit.

Hello Shirley and thank you for visiting my site. My apologies for the delay in response, the alert from my website that tells me when I have questions has not worked for serveral weeks and I was unaware the questions were building up. It depends on how formal the wedding is going to be as far as the style of your outfit. Darker colors and Jewel tones are traditional for winter weddings. If the couple is having a color theme for accents the mothers usually dress in these colors. Congratulations and have a wonderful time on your cruise!

Hello Carolin and thank you for visiting my site. Tea length dresses for your bridal party are great! Especially for an outdoor wedding. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Lydia and thank you for visiting my site. If the bride has not specified what she would like you to wear then the choice is up to you. It is always nice to stay in the color scheme that she has selected but style should be whatever you feel comfortable and think suits you. For something dressy but still warm a velvet jacket is nice with dressy slacks or a long skirt or dress. They also have lovely sweaters that come out for the holidays in golds and silver that would be appropriate.

Hello Barbara and thank you for visiting my sight. I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. Your outfit sounds lovely and perfect for a formal wedding. At 81 years old I think you should be able to wear whatever you want and feel great in it! If the bride has not specifically asked you to wear a particular dress then you are free to wear what you like. Enjoy!

Hi Kim and thank you for visiting my site. It is customary for the mother of the bride to wear one of the wedding colors, so a black pantsuit would be perfect. Unless the bride selects an outfit specifically for the mothers then the choice is up to you to wear what you feel comfortable in.

Hello Franco and thank you for visiting my site. For your wedding I think you should wear what you feel great and most comfortable in. If you want to wear a tux then go for it! It does not make any difference if this is a first or fourth wedding, it is still your day.

Hi Natasha and thank you for visiting my site. Dark colors are always good on plus size women. I think browns and pumkins would look great. More importantly than the color is the cut of the dresses, as long as they are not designed for smaller built women they should look great.

Hello Lyndsey and thank you for visiting my site. Any color really works for a May wedding, it should just be a color that works well with your reception venue. Ivory or Champagne is always an easy color to match with almost anything. Brown tones and Gold also look great with red, especially if there is dark wood or darker colors in the church or reception venue. Congratulations and good luck to you!

Hello again, one more thing....ivory looks better on almost everyone than white, I would stick with your ivory gown, but again mixing the whites in is no problem. Take care.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. White and Ivory compliment each other nicely. If you like the combination there is nothing wrong with mixing the two colors. Congratulations and Good Luck!

Hi Terri and thank you for visiting my website. Congratulations! and yes, absolutely you can wear anything you like to celebrate your reception.

Hello Vette and thank you for visiting my site. Definately Hair first...you don't want sprays and fussing all around your face after you have had your makeup done. Makeup should be the last thing before putting on your gown.

Hello Brittney and thank you for visting my site. I think it would look very nice if you could get the guys shirts in ivory. Usually people still go with the white, but it would look very rich if you did the ivory. Black ties would look the most formal, but you could also go with a jeweled tone like burgundy or very dark blue if you want some contrast in the colors.

Hello and thank you for visiting my site. As long as the bride has not objection to your selection "Mother's of the bride and groom" are generally allowed to wear whatever they like.

Hello Mary and thank you for visiting my site. This one is easy for me because my personal opinion is that 77 year old women should do whatever they please. If your mother in law is comfortable and feels like she looks good, then more power to her.

Hello Brandy and thank you for visiting my site. It Is actually a pretty common to coordinate the colors of tie and or vest or cumberbund and sounds like it will work very nice.

Hi Again Tracy, it is just fine to change during the reception. Lot's of my brides I work with do this either for cultural reasons or to set a different mode after the formal reception details are done.

Hello Amanda and thank you for visiting my site. I really think the bride should have whatever colors she wants. Colors are a very personal opinion and everyone likes different things. Since you ask, my personal opinion is that the pink and orange colors would clash...but if you like it then go for it!

Hello Ms. B and thank you for visiting my sight. It is fine to dress your bridesmaids in different colors. Generally people choose variations of the same shade like an eggplant or deep purple and a lavender, so that the colors are in the same family. I think a pale blue or version of blue would better suit lapis, but if you want to do lapis and lavender I say go for it!

Hi Jan and thank you for visiting my site. If the bride said to wear whatever you want, then that is your answer. It would only be an issue if she was trying to coordinate colors for pictures but it does not sound like that is the case, so wear what you feel comfortable in. Have a wonderful time!

Hello...it's your wedding and it should be how you want it. What do you care if it's a color riot if you like it? I say go for it!

Hello, and thank you for visiting my site. Of course, lot's of weddings distinguish the best man and or maid of Honor by having them wear something slightly or sometimes totally different than the rest of the bridal party. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Rob and thank you for visiting my site. As the groom you are able to allow you dad to wear anything that makes him feel comfortable.

Hello, If the bride has no objection to the color choice for your dress you can wear any color you like.